I suggest you get rid of the porn and focus your attention on her. She might just leave you one day for some one who appreciate her. Make her know she is wanted and loved. Porn is not worth your relationship. Porn is just watching two or more people have sex. You are not even physically involved in their sex. I would much rather the real experience than to watch people do it. One is just me watching while the other is me being involved.

Which do you prefer, the female anatomy or your hand? It is an easy choice to me. Sorry but I can't relate.

Why are you even in this group? My second wife left me over porn. She was a mega-controlling feminazi who aggravated my addiction by shaming me for it. I was never happier than the day she told me she had found another sucker and was moving out.

Littlebulbgirl It is a support group this is where people with problems go to get support with other people with the same problem so if you do not relate there’s no point in putting out negativity that the rest of the world will give you that’s not what this is for I don’t understand why even come at eight if you didn’t relate the rest of the world will give you negativity if that’s what we wanted then we wouldn’t be on the side we wouldn’t be looking for support . I’ve just recently found this group so I know your post was a long time ago but if you’re still struggling I think that your girlfriend has her own issues and is trying to use you against it being jealousy is something that is developed not all of a sudden I know from experience! I think maybe if you try to explain it to her and tried to let her know has nothing to do with her she may understand if she doesn’t understand and she’s not right for you yes I’m sure she’s feeling unwanted which is the worst feeling in the world but if she can’t understand and put her feelings aside to help yours then there’s no sacrifices on her end I believe like any other addict you have to be understanding You have to be willing to help and if you’re not then there’s no reason to continue to be together. I hope this makes sense and I hope it helps if you’re still going through

Thanks lotus33! I have been able to come to an accomodation with my girlfriend for now. Sexual coersion and loneliness are all mixed up in my mind, because of some Oedipal ("mommy") issues that are unresolved. I really don't enjoy actual sex very much, but often used orgasm to mask loneliness. Now that I don't feel lonely very often, I don't feel much need for sex, but I still want to masturbate when I am bored.

I understand her point of view with being jealous, when I was heavily pregnant my partner suddenly started watching porn, something he hadn't done before. I was so hurt and upset, I felt that I wasn't good enough, I wasn't attractive, jeeze I felt like I was a beached whale

Sorry half my message disappeared. So anyway I also said... we spoke about it and he explained that he only watched it because he wanted some release and I hadn't been well. I had a really rough pregnancy that nearly cost me my life. That made me feel worse too, I felt like he did that during my worst time and that really hurt. It still bothers me 5 year on. But that is my own insecurities. However what I don't understand is why she would want you to delete your membership to this platform, especially if there is a chance it can help you with your addiction. Surely if it helps you, it helps her? I read something a while back about porn addiction and that it makes you disconnect from relationships and frequent masturbation can mess/change the way we view/have sex. Have you tried CBT or counselling, maybe you'd be willing to seek help from a professional? Also maybe you could try to give up porn slowly, say go 24 hours without it, then 48 hours etc until you feel you don't need it anymore. Perhaps also you could try new ways of being more intimate with your girlfriend, ie dinner, a movie, a massage and see where it takes you. I don't know if I'm being much help, but I hope that the two of you can work it out together. Maybe your girlfriend would also benefit from some support for her jealousy? I'm not sure if she would be open to that.

Thank you, ThatGirl90, for sharing your experiences. If masturbation changed the way I view or experience sex, it did the job 50 years ago. I had wild sexual fantasies about my step-mother and step-sisters that I always relieved with masturbation and help from my dad's collection of porn. My step-mother was a bit religious and repressed about sex and, with five horny teenagers in the house, she was generally in a frenzy trying to keep a lid on all that teen-aged libido,

I seldom dated. I had sex with one person in high school, and with one person in college. Both relationships only lasted a couple of weeks. I didn't start looking for a partner until I was nearly 30. I wanted a family, and just 18 months after meeting my first wife, we had a child. After the baby was born, neither of us wanted to have sex with each other any more. We divorced amicably after five years.

I seemed to reach my prime in my 40's, and for the first time ever, had a choice of interested sexual partners. After six months of playing the field, I got targeted by my soon-to-be second wife. That marriage turned out to be my worst mistake of all time. She was very demanding in every way, including sexually. I re-started masturbating with porn to escape the constant control. She went ballistic over it, and that was the end of that.

Another five years and the deaths of my mother and step-mother, intervened before I was willing to date again. My third wife and I first "met" here on DS, so she knew most of my issues, including the porn, and I knew most of hers. We got together a year later, dated for six months, got married and set up house. We have one child each, from previous marriages, who seldom call or visit. We don't have a lot of money, and have few interests outside of our relationship. We both prefer masturbation to having sex. Sometimes we mutually masturbate. Other that that, our life is totally mundane. Things only get rocky when she fears that I will leave her. These fears are totally ungrounded. There is no place that I would rather be than with her. I go to porn when she is unavailable. I think she realizes that now, and since we have been together for 10 years, we have reached a mutual accommodation on most issues, including the occasional presence of porn in our life.