For Sex Addicts Only Community Group
For Sex Addicts Only is exclusively for individuals seeking support, information and recovery advice from fellow sex addicts. If not a sex addict, please do not join this group. The focus of this group is to support one another in understanding how one becomes a sex addict and achieving a successful recovery from our individual sex addiction. Sex addiction exists in...
I haven't seen any person or article discuss this.
I don't know when it started, but I've noticed that "targets" will often have a shining pink, yellow or white aura that seems to pull me in like a black hole. The world around them seems to go hazy. I have other visual side effects during the height of addiction/low points of my recovery, like my perspective will be distorted at times or the world will have a tint to it. I tend to feel more depersonalized/dreamy.
I have also noticed that all the people with auras are completely wrong for me on a romantic or even platonic level. Every single person I have stayed in contact with after a sexual encounter turned out to be an abusive asshole.
Does anyone else have this?
**Updated to say I have no prior history of hallucinations or anything, and this only seems to occur in this specific context.
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I need some plot development ideas for a book I'm writing. Here's the lead in:------@1630 she texted me, asking for gas money. "Are u at work? I have to work in a couple hours I don't have any gas barely I was wondering if u had 20$ by chance haven't been able to get any massages in I'm sorry to ask was just seeing"She agreed to meet me at the townhouse @1730. I asked her to call me before...
A large part of my addiction was triggered/enabled by my desire to have people let their guard down around me... I would feel a rush when I saw a different, more vulnerable side than others saw, and when they would want me. I know this stems from my emotionally abusive mother, who made it her mission to force me into situations where I had to basically obsess over what she was thinking or doing while giving me the silent treatment. "Cracking people open" became a preoccupation.
Those that have had the aura/ I have been most attracted to have also been the most guarded. I guess my pattern of running straight to those with walls up had such an effect on me that I was able to pick up on it... and the addiction part of my brain swiftly followed.
Strong interest causes physiological changes: dilated pupils and "tunnel vision" among others. I notice a fuzzing out/loss of focus of objects in the periphery, when it happens, but have never noticed color artifacts/auras. However, without my glasses on, any bright white light at night appears as a scintillating, spiky crystalline rainbow orb.