Food Addiction Support Group
An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...
I am slipping. I went from 359 to 259 and now I’m up to 272. I cannot keep doing this. I don’t KNOW how to stop. I hate myself.
I'm willing to bet that you didn't hate yourself when you saw 272 on the scale when you were losing weight, right? The day you achieved that milestone, you rightfully felt pretty darn good about things.
So it's not the actual number, it's the direction of the scale that's causing you the grief right now. Also understandable.
I don't mean to make light of your current frustration, but holy shit, you lost 100 pounds? You are a rock star. Truly. You are an inspiration. Nothing that happens now can change the fact that you lost that weight - not even gaining some of it back. That must have taken a huge amount of work and discipline.
In losing that weight, you pushed the pendulum incredibly far in one direction. I have only, once, managed to lose a significant amount of weight, about 40 pounds. I did not have a good plan once i reached that goal. I just sort of thought okay, well, that's done, I can get on with my life. But of course it isn't that easy, and I gained it back.
And the thing about pendulums is that the buggers swing back, trying to find equilibrium. And in the process, they will swing the wrong way, only not quite as far as they were before the first correction. Damn, this would be easier to explain in person, because I could wave my hands maniacally to underline my point. You'll just have to imagine that.
So your pendulum is going the other way. But you are still in control of this. You have the knowledge and the drive that got you to 259 in the first place. You know things now that you didn't know when you were still at 359. You know what worked for you and what didn't. You know you have the ability to do this.
And you know you're human, and humans get tired of the fight sometimes, and screw up for awhile before getting it back together again.
You can do this. Obviously since you've done it before. It's a different challenge each time, I think, but you've got what it takes to do this. I hope you will, and I hope you'll post about it, because we need you here, we need your experience. Deep breaths, friend, and get back to it.