Food Addiction Support Group
An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...
I feel like my problems are not even big enough to be on here. And maybe they're not.
But lately I have felt so lonely in my food addiction. Like nobody understands. I try to reach out, and people answer with things like "well then just don't eat junk food" or "only eat a little, that's what I do". Like that's so easy.
I am so tired of saying that tomorrow will be better, that I will not eat sugar all day, that I will eat something healhty... and then tomorrow comes and I just don't. I have no motivation. Yes, I know I will be healthier, lose weight and have more energy, and I would love all of that, so what's my problem?
I just have sugar and junk all day every day, and then one healthy meal that I will make for my family. And even though I don't crave the healthy meal at all, when I go to eat it, it turns out to be really good, and then I overeat that too. Sometimes with third and fourth helpings. Then I have dessert and that's after I am already completely stuffed. Like I just can't stop.
Then the next morning comes and I just fill up with a bunch of garbage all day and the cycle starts all over again.
I don't even actually want the junk food sometimes. Sometimes I just think like well that will probably be yummy, so I get it, even if I didn't really want it. But then I'm not craving anything and all food seems undesirable and boring to me, so I just eat whats fast and filling and makes me feel good, I guess.
I don't even know what to say or if this is how it goes, but I just needed to vent to someone who understands that food addiction is real and I suffer from it. I wish I could just turn it off.
I read this article about food addiction and how you have to really decide and commit to avoiding it completely, but I don't even want to. How do I get to the point where I want to? How can someone who doesn't really care about what they eat decide to let go of all of the food they enjoy?
Well, thanks for listening. It really felt good to get my thoughts out somewhere to someone who might actually understand what I am going through.
You absolutely nailed it when you mentioned the article that said you need to decide to do it - but that you don't really want to, deep down. This is actually awesome, seriously - it's awesome that you're that self-aware. For years I got up every morning and thought this is the day I'll say no, and that night I'd go to bed thinking welp, it wasn't today after all. And that's because I didn't genuinely want to make the change.
If I had been as self-aware back then as you are now, it probably wouldn't have taken me so long to figure it out.
As someone who still has a long long way to go, but who has finally turned the corner on this, may I suggest three steps? First, figure out why you want to stay where you are. Figure out what's comfortable about it. Figure out what need it's meeting, that makes it so attractive that in spite of all the good reasons to change. As awful as any addiction is, there's reasons why addicts don't want to give them up. Once you figure out yours, making the actual changes gets easier.
Secondly figure out what could possibly motivate you to make changes. Again, it's different for everyone. I kept trying to use vanity as a motivator, but that just doesn't matter to me - not enough to give up short-term satisfaction. But each of us has a thing that's so important that we're willing to change our behavior for it. Find yours.
And lastly, fake it until you make it. Practice some behaviors that you know are positive ones even without wanting to. You do it all the time in real life, after all - you do laundry and go to work and smile at miserable customers and you clean the bathroom and so on. The really life-changing part of overcoming the addiction won't truly happen until you figure out those first two parts, but you'll be a few steps ahead if you just start making some small changes now. Not huge things. Not "no sugar will cross my lips again" declarations. Not yet. Just add a piece of fruit to the bad breakfast, or order a smaller size at the drive-through, or take the steps instead of the elevator, or something. It's small, but you'll feel empowered and in control - and that's key for the next part of the recovery.
You can want to do this. You just have a few things to sort out inside your head before you're really ready to make big changes. So think about things, and make some small ones, and be kind to yourself. You're a work in progress, and you can do this.