I feel like my problems are not even big enough to be on here. And maybe they're not.
But lately I have felt so lonely in my food addiction. Like nobody understands. I try to reach out, and people answer with things like "well then just don't eat junk food" or "only eat a little, that's what I do". Like that's so easy.
I am so tired of saying that tomorrow will be better, that I will not eat sugar all day, that I will eat something healhty... and then tomorrow comes and I just don't. I have no motivation. Yes, I know I will be healthier, lose weight and have more energy, and I would love all of that, so what's my problem?
I just have sugar and junk all day every day, and then one healthy meal that I will make for my family. And even though I don't crave the healthy meal at all, when I go to eat it, it turns out to be really good, and then I overeat that too. Sometimes with third and fourth helpings. Then I have dessert and that's after I am already completely stuffed. Like I just can't stop.
Then the next morning comes and I just fill up with a bunch of garbage all day and the cycle starts all over again.
I don't even actually want the junk food sometimes. Sometimes I just think like well that will probably be yummy, so I get it, even if I didn't really want it. But then I'm not craving anything and all food seems undesirable and boring to me, so I just eat whats fast and filling and makes me feel good, I guess.
I don't even know what to say or if this is how it goes, but I just needed to vent to someone who understands that food addiction is real and I suffer from it. I wish I could just turn it off.
I read this article about food addiction and how you have to really decide and commit to avoiding it completely, but I don't even want to. How do I get to the point where I want to? How can someone who doesn't really care about what they eat decide to let go of all of the food they enjoy?
Well, thanks for listening. It really felt good to get my thoughts out somewhere to someone who might actually understand what I am going through.
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