I should add that I went to OA many years ago and had many friends from those meetings and from other 12 step programs. But that was before my depression got a lot worse and I was unable to take care of myself. I also have a lot of social phobia and have a hard time ebing around people, so that doesn't help. Sorry to make myself sound so hopeless it's just that I have a lot of issues gong on right now.

That is a lot of issues for one person. And it sounds like your husband isn't being too helpful, either. He may have a food addiction himself if he can't give up the junk food even though he knows it causes you problems!

I hear that you don't believe that you can do this, but the truth is you CAN. That part of you that says you can't is your addiction talking. Actually, your addiction is SHOUTING SO LOUD, it's hard for other thoughts to be heard. You CAN do this.

It sounds like you're considering a lot of good options- counseling, OA... Are you already doing those things, or are you thinking of starting them?

Hi Heidi! I'm sorry you are feeling so down at the moment. I also suffer from social phobia and everytime I try to eat in front of people I have anxiety attacks. This of course leads me to binge eat after unsuccessful social outings. I am feeling slightly better as of late. I am eating more slowly when out with friends. And I told myself its ok if I am too nervous to eat. I can always take the leftovers home.
My fiance often brings me junk food home as well. He tries to understand what I am going through and be supportive but he can't because he isn't in my head. It all comes down to the person with the power. I have the power to change myself you do 2! My binging has been improving slightly but its been a long road and I will keep at it until I am well!! Don't loose hope! Remember that the only thing constant in life is change and you never know how you will be changed from moment to moment!

Food addiction is like any other addiction in life-it's like drinking or drugs or cigarettes. It's absolutely not easy to quit. And no magic pill will take away cravings. It takes absolute control and re-wiring of the brain. And that's hard work!

Several things I've learned, and am still learning:
1) You have to address the depression-anything that is causing you to overeat
2) You have to use impulse control. Keep snacky foods out of your house. Make a conscious decision to bypass snacky foods, fatty foods, fast foods....
3) You have to forgive yourself. For your past, present, and future. You will stumble, you will fall, you may even hit a rock bottom-but you have to forgive yourself. It has taken me a long time to do this and I'm still not perfect at it or I wouldn't be here!

Find something that means something to you-for me, I think about my future children. The ones I want to play with. I want to get pregnant, and I remind myself that I need to create a safe place for a baby to grow. So even though I feel like I'm getting my butt kicked right now, I'm still trying.

I'm not sure if any of this is helpful-but I've done therapy, I'm not into meetings, and confiding in people I trust doesn't seem to change much. I just have to muster all my inner strength and do the best I can each day. And sometimes that means drinking two full glasses of water as fast as I can so I won't consume all the contents of my refrigerator (I even overeat on healthy foods....)

Hang in there.

hi . i just want you to know that your story really touched me .and after reading it i think you're a sensitive but a good person.and i'm also pretty sure that you're a great mother too to your son.and i really wanna be your friend although i'm just 18 yrs i've also been through your issues and i know that food could be a good friend that helps us deal with negative emotions .just remember keep on track no matter how hard it feels .and i'll be always there whenever you're feeling like giving in

Hello, I hate to hear that you are having such a rough time. It can be difficult when those around you seem to be sabotaging your efforts. It may feel right now like you cant do this but you can. You just have to bear down and keep pushing forward. Remind yourself why you are doing this. Just hang in there.

Wow, thank you all for your support and encouragement. It means a lot to me. I feel more hopeful about this whole ordeal knowing that you are all here to help. I will definately be visiting this board often and have also joined the post traumatic stress disorder board. And I will see if I can find an O.A. meeting nearby.

Wow! So much of what you said sounds just like me. I'm sort-of in a gastric bypass pre-op program, but I keep getting roadblocks thrown at me. Most of all, though, I think I often sabotage myself because I am terrified at the thought of giving up the food I have always used as crutches and that feel like my only real friends. I live alone (actually with my cats), have no family and only one "sometimes friend" who is clueless to this whole concept. I can't imagine what I would do without sugary food to look forward too every day! I've lost my family, had to quit smoking, have no money (I'm also a shopping addict!), don't drink, and a degenerative spinal disease leaves me unable to get around much without a lot of pain. So as much as I need to lose weight, I don't yet know how to give up my last comfort. And I, too, have been dealing with major depression for many years. I guess this isn't going to make you feel any better, but I just want assure you that you are NOT alone!

Thanks so much 2muchme for your post. It helps knowing I'm not the only one dealing with this and knowing that others have depression, too, as well as other issues to deal with. I can so very much relate to what you are saying about being terrified at the thought of giving up the extra food, especially the sugary stuff!! I'm sorry that you are kind of alone and don't have a lot of friends and family to talk to. If you want to talk more 1:1 feel free to write me. I would be honored to be your friend. Maybe we can try to help each other if you're interested.
I know for me that it's hard since I'm always in pain from the depression and the PTSD. And it seems like food is the only thing that helps numb some of that pain. So I"m trying to also be more understanding and patient with myself. And I'm really sorry to hear about your degenerative spinal disease. That sounds painful! :(