Food Addiction Support Group

An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...

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JonathanA 02/04/2008

Ugh. Just needed to take a minute of my work day to clear my head and get it out there. I've been abstinent for nine days, which feels like a miracle given that I lost my best friend a month ago, then was struggling with what I thought was diverticulitis, and am now adjusting to being lactose intolerant.

Overall, most of the time I feel like I'm getting back into the groove of recovery from food addiction, which has been ongoing for almost three years and 100+ pounds now, but there are days, like today, where I feel so unworthy of this progress. I come from a really fractured, messed-up family, and I'm feeling the weight (heh) of that at the moment - the idea that I was never taught what normal is, and how on earth can I possibly expect to learn that now? Am I even worth knowing what "normal" is?

I don't know. Sometimes it seems easier to go back to what I used to know than to try to strive and live in the light. I know this is just a temporary bump in the road, but it frustrates me and makes me feel like I'm never going to get there.

deleted_user 02/04/2008

Every human being deserves to be happy, luv. I have days when I think that it would be so much easier to go back to bingeing. I've made tremendous progess so far and feel great, but I still have quite a way to go. And every so often I lose control, but instead of feeling sorry for myself the way I used to, I tell myself that I'm flawed and imperfect...just like every other human being. Instead of dwelling on the past, I start over the next day.
Breaking the cycle is excruciatingly difficult at the beginning, but in the end, it is so totally worth it.

deleted_user 02/04/2008

You sound just like me so im afraid im not really much help! but well done for managing 9 days. Do you feel better already because of your eating? can you concentrate on just hanging onto that feeling at the moment?

deleted_user 02/04/2008

Life is a learning process that never ends. So somethings we didn't learn or listen too when we were young. You can do it now, one step at a time, one minute at a time, one challenge at a time. Each time you succeed will help you realize you can do the next time a struggle comes along. Fight for it, it's our health we are fighting for, a better life.

deleted_user 02/05/2008

it is easier, at least in the short term, to give up. to fall back into those old habits. there's probably nothing easier. but you know what that life was like .... do you really want to go back?

life is hard. i am, over and over again, stunned by how hard life can be. and all we can do is try. we do the best we can. and tomorrow we do it again.

good for you Jonathan for making the progress you have - i suspect that even if you did 'go back' you wouldn't stay there. to achieve what you have, shows a lot of cetermination and committment to your health and happiness. to a life in the light.

deleted_user 02/05/2008

To stall out and embrace old habits - it is so easy, and sometimes it feels like the right thing to do. The fact is - recovery is hard. Damn hard. But it also one of the worthiest things you can put your mind to. Health is worth it. Being able to be happy, truly happy with who you are (regardless of weight) is worth it.

You can learn anything now. No one is ever too far gone to learn something new. And more than that - you can put it into practice. Normalcy is overrated, though so often we strive for that - just because we look at people with normal diets as people who don't struggle. We're going to struggle with this - for a long time. But that doesn't mean we can't be healthy and happy people. And it NEVER means we're not worthy of that.

JonathanA 02/05/2008

Thanks everybody...you really helped me to get to the root of what's underneath all of this: anger. Anger at the people and circumstances in my youth that led me down this path. Every time I think I've dealt with that, it creeps back up on me. I tell myself I'm seizing this as way to avoid dealing with things, but I think acknowleding the anger is dealing with things. It's certainly made it easier to stay abstinent.

So many great replies here...I'm taking them all to heart. Thanks everyone.

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