Food Addiction Support Group
An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...
I'm sure there have been many discussion in the group before about the issue of treat vs no treats, but here's my thoughts on it:
I've tired both ways, and failed both ways, and it leaves me wondering what the answer is.
This is what I think the answer is (at least, for me): the goal is to eat like a normal person. And what to normal people do? They make mistakes, they over-indulge, and then they get back on track.
I know that with Over-Eaters Anonymous, you're supposed to toally avoid flour and sugar (I think). And maybe that works for some people, so if that works for you, yay! I'm happy for you!
But, to be honest, I don't think it's the way to go, for me. And I don't really understand how it could work permanently for anyone, because I think it misses the whole point of eating like a normal, non-food addicted person.
I just can't help but wonder if depervation doesn't always lead to a binge.
So, I'm trying moderation; I'm trying to eat like a normal person. I have not had a binge in 10 days. I have had things I don't consider ideal, and things that are probably not going to help me with my weight loss - today, I had too many chocolates, and there have been other days like that in the past 10 days.
But, you know what? I still lost over 3 pounds the first week. And the urge to binge seems to really be dissipating, because I don't feel deprived.
I choose to trust myself, I assume that I am capable of deciding when I want to stop eating. Once you give yourself that trust, you won't mis-use it, I think. In fact, I think part of the problem of very restrictive diets is that it's basically telling yourself that you don't trust yourself.
I decide to trust myself. What I eat is my choice, and I can stop whenever I wish. Now that I am responsible for my choices, now that I have that privilidge, I don't want to mis-use it. And I don't.
Perfect does not work. That's my other discovery. That's how I get into these over-eating situations: I expect to eat perfectly, and, when I don't, I think to myself - well, you've messed up, it doesn't matter what you eat now.
Perfect does not work. The way to end the cycle of perfect is to not expect perfect. What I plan on is doing my best. That's about my only rule. Yes, I had too many chocolates today. But you know what? Half of them are sitting right here, in a bowl, and I'm not going to eat them. Because I decided not to, because i choose to trust myself.
Not only does this seem to be working, in terms of not binging, but it feels good and right to trust myself. in fact, it's a relief to trust myself. Life is hard enough. I don't need to make it harder by refusing to trust myself, and by looking outside myself for restrictive diets and complicated rules, instead of simply trusting.
PS - Sorry this post is so long. Also, I realize there may be people out there who disagree with me, who find that no sugar or whatever works for them. And, to you, I say: I mean no disrespect to you at all, and if it's working for you, I'm nothing but happy for you, 'cause I know how hard this is. But my opinion is still that trusting yourself is the way to go.
I've tired both ways, and failed both ways, and it leaves me wondering what the answer is.
This is what I think the answer is (at least, for me): the goal is to eat like a normal person. And what to normal people do? They make mistakes, they over-indulge, and then they get back on track.
I know that with Over-Eaters Anonymous, you're supposed to toally avoid flour and sugar (I think). And maybe that works for some people, so if that works for you, yay! I'm happy for you!
But, to be honest, I don't think it's the way to go, for me. And I don't really understand how it could work permanently for anyone, because I think it misses the whole point of eating like a normal, non-food addicted person.
I just can't help but wonder if depervation doesn't always lead to a binge.
So, I'm trying moderation; I'm trying to eat like a normal person. I have not had a binge in 10 days. I have had things I don't consider ideal, and things that are probably not going to help me with my weight loss - today, I had too many chocolates, and there have been other days like that in the past 10 days.
But, you know what? I still lost over 3 pounds the first week. And the urge to binge seems to really be dissipating, because I don't feel deprived.
I choose to trust myself, I assume that I am capable of deciding when I want to stop eating. Once you give yourself that trust, you won't mis-use it, I think. In fact, I think part of the problem of very restrictive diets is that it's basically telling yourself that you don't trust yourself.
I decide to trust myself. What I eat is my choice, and I can stop whenever I wish. Now that I am responsible for my choices, now that I have that privilidge, I don't want to mis-use it. And I don't.
Perfect does not work. That's my other discovery. That's how I get into these over-eating situations: I expect to eat perfectly, and, when I don't, I think to myself - well, you've messed up, it doesn't matter what you eat now.
Perfect does not work. The way to end the cycle of perfect is to not expect perfect. What I plan on is doing my best. That's about my only rule. Yes, I had too many chocolates today. But you know what? Half of them are sitting right here, in a bowl, and I'm not going to eat them. Because I decided not to, because i choose to trust myself.
Not only does this seem to be working, in terms of not binging, but it feels good and right to trust myself. in fact, it's a relief to trust myself. Life is hard enough. I don't need to make it harder by refusing to trust myself, and by looking outside myself for restrictive diets and complicated rules, instead of simply trusting.
PS - Sorry this post is so long. Also, I realize there may be people out there who disagree with me, who find that no sugar or whatever works for them. And, to you, I say: I mean no disrespect to you at all, and if it's working for you, I'm nothing but happy for you, 'cause I know how hard this is. But my opinion is still that trusting yourself is the way to go.
Love this post. I've been around the block with the food programs. I've been off sugar, flour, peas, carrots, grapes, ham, sausage, at different times and off all of them for over 5 years. Then I've spent the last 5 years bingeing/restricting, bingeing/restricting, bingeing/restricting. t's a vicious cycle. It tore me up. The self-loathing, guilt and shame was almost unbearable. I was a wreck. I was convinced that I was addicted to sugar and flour, but I couldn't stay abstinent. I don't know how I was lead in this direction, but I've been on a similar food plan as yours and I haven't binged since August 15, 2010. I still can't believe it. Last summer I started reading the Geneen Roth books and I went to an OA meeting where I met some people who were doing similar things with their food. Then I came the the DS forum and found someone who is doing this and we've been working on this ever since. It's been life altering.
I hope you find what you need on your journey too.
That's really encouraging to hear that you both are doing so well. It makes me feel like I'm on the right track.
I do limit carbs, flour, sugar but that is more because my body doesn't like them. When I was pregnant I was borderline diabetic so limiting carbs works well for my body.
I do eat them on special occasions, birthdays and holidays. I think not completely cutting them works. This way they aren't completely forbidden.
I will never be able to eat like a normal person.
I promise you I was where you are. I promise you it can change. I finally said that's it! The battle is over. Tomorrow is not the day, today is the day, I can eat all foods, but since I can eat what used to be "forbidden" foods, I must put food in it's proper perspective. Food will never help me feel better about myself, it will never give me love, it can't fix my problems. But, I am allowed to enjoy food. I like the way some foods taste. So I am going to enjoy food. As soon as I stopped being so stringent about what was good and what was bad, and I stopped judging myself for being bad, it got better. I stopped binging because why binge when you can eat a comfortable amount today and tomorrow.
The one thing I knew about myself was I could not eat at night. That was out for me. Nighttime was when I would eat for emotion and not physical hunger. During the day I could trust myself to have regular portions of things. At first I ate a big dinner to make it through the night without food, but eventually I got used to not eating after dinner and going to bed on an empty stomach was fine. Note I said I had an empty stomach, I do not go to bed hungry. There is a difference. Think of it this way. No one ever died of starvation between dinner and breakfast. : )
WOW, well said!
I think you totally got to the point with that. Food can't fix our problems. It's just food.
In fact, I'd take it a step further, and say, not only does it not fix our problems, it prevents us from moving forward in our lives. I mean, we're eating for a reason - we're bored, or angry, or need to change or lives. So, if we keep eating, instead of feeling or anger or fixing our lives, then we're never going to move forward. We're going to be stuck in this rut.