Food Addiction Support Group
An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...
A work colleague who is tiny, size 8-10 at the most, said to me yesterday morning "why is it when your trying to cut down your hungry all the time"? I was a bit taken aback and I said to her "who, you are?, your tiny" and she pointed out a non-existant fat area on her thighs. As someone who likes to kid herself she's still a size 12, and squeezes herself into clothes that haven't fit her for over a year, I dread to think what they think of me then!
Another colleague has recently done really well and lost half a stone. Again, I wonder WHY can't I do the same, WHY do I have this twisted relationship with food in that I'm scared to let the bingeing go? As we all know, there is always a reason we do this, concious or not. We have an investment in the behaviour or we just wouldn't do it. I wish I could be the me I used to be, who thought she was fat at a size 10 and was able to diet...
Another colleague has recently done really well and lost half a stone. Again, I wonder WHY can't I do the same, WHY do I have this twisted relationship with food in that I'm scared to let the bingeing go? As we all know, there is always a reason we do this, concious or not. We have an investment in the behaviour or we just wouldn't do it. I wish I could be the me I used to be, who thought she was fat at a size 10 and was able to diet...
As someone whose food addiction level goes up and down according to how my life is going, I often find myself looking at other people who don't "appear" to have issues with food and wonder what it feels like to have a normal-sized body and not be constantly obsessing about food.
For me, unfortunately, food is my "soft place to fall" right now. The last several years have been very, very difficult for me - I lost the best job I ever had to downsizing, mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (she passed away last year), and I've had three major surgeries within 18 months. I'm currently unemployed AGAIN and really feel like my life is in a ditch. During times like this, the food addiction monster is at full force.
It's particularly frustrating to deal with this, because several years ago I lost 105 lbs (Weight Watchers) in 18 months and kept it off for four years until my thyroid gland crashed (one of the surgeries) and my life otherwise spun off into a ditch.
I've heard the logic many times that people who need/want to lose 5 or 10 lbs struggle with those 10 lbs just as much as someone with a REAL weight problem struggles with 50 lbs or more. The thing I find especially frustrating about that though is if someone only has less than 10 lbs to lose, people are not going to view them as fat, so I don't understand their "...oh, god...my thighs are huge!!!" thing.
I think we're so critical of ourselves, particularly women, that even if we're 3 lbs overweight, we obsess over those 3 lbs like they were 300 lbs. Maybe it's just the way we're hardwired.
I really believe all the answers we need are within us...it's just that some answers are harder to find than others. Wishing you well with your weight loss journey...
Janice : )
Sending hugs!
X
I think it's important to remember that "the grass is always greener on the other side." Yes, you may see these co-workers as skinnier than you and not like to hear them complain when they appear to have a better body - but two things, that doesn't mean that they're not working through their own self-destructive issues, and I'm sure you can think of someone larger than you who might think the same thing if they heard you utter the same words as these other women. Everything depends on the perspective of the thinker.
The most sensible thing one can do is focus on your own negative thoughts and counteract them with positive ones. I completely understand your frustration. I used to think "Why is she complaining when she has a body I would kill for?" But you know what - it's all about how everyone sees themselves.
And I wouldn't worry about what they think of you - they probably don't even take notice - they're too concerned with that non-existent fat area on their thighs. Celebrate what you have and love yourself for it.
I know it can be hard when you hear others comment though - I totally sympathize. Sometimes people are just fishing for compliments though - it's always good to support that. We can all use a little compliment here and there :)
Hope you're doing better today!
~m~
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. NEVER FORGET THAT. Some like 'em thin, some (believe it or not) like 'em fat. Had a man tell me once, "the only thing a thin woman can do for me is lead me to a fat one!"
Take heart from this true story.
We had pizzas for lunch as a treat as one of the girls is getting married on Sunday and our supervisor, very slim, didn't partake as she is on a "diet". Of course, I inhaled mine almost whole as I had forgotten I was going to pretend to be full after three slices like the rest!