I’m feeling a little troubled lately. I noticed that I’ve been having this unhealthy eating pattern causing me to feel really bad for a while now. I noticed how I constantly eat without feeling hungry at all. I tried to monitor myself and observed that I usually eat every 2 hours. And the amount I usually eat depends on my company. I mean, I try to limit myself when I’m eating with my family or co-workers. But whenever I’m alone, the amount of food I consume is too problematic. Especially at midnight. I can eat like 3-4 times of the normal serving and not feel satisfaction at all. It’s like my mouth’s constantly producing saliva, as if keeping my mouth ready for another meal, and my mind keeps thinking of what’s the next food to consume and how many minutes more should I wait for me to eat again. And in between those 2 hours, I feel uneasy and agitated. It’s like body can’t keep still unless it receives another mouthful of junk. It’s a constant inner battle and it’s making me feel very frustrated. In less than a month’s time, I’ve gained 8 lbs and all my family, friends and co-workers noticed my sudden increase in body size. I recently checked my BMI and I’m still in the normal range but maybe 2-3 lbs more and I’m positively overweight. My skin (which was really really good before) suddenly looked unhealthy. I have bags under my eyes. I’m experiencing skin breakouts. Occasionally, my nails get badly chipped. I easily get small scratches and wounds that I don’t even remember of getting. For almost 2 weeks my anxiety’s out of control and my self-esteem really dropped low. I deactivated my social media accounts, stopped responding to text messages, and refused joining my friends for a day or night out. I used to enjoy yoga and crossfit but then I sudden loss interest in them. I started locking myself inside my room for almost the whole day and would just often go out if I want to eat or if I have to go to work. No matter how I want to change this behavior, I just can’t find any energy to put myself back up again. I started reading a few articles since I’m becoming more and more bothered of this. I’m not really sure but I started reading about depression and binge eating disorder. Although I know that I’m not even close to having depression but I’m a little paranoid because I think I might have BED. A few days or so, I decided to put a stop in whatever this is I’m going through and maybe change in little ways I can. I started monitoring my meals. I counted calories and opted to eat healthier food. I slept earlier and make sure that I sleep 7-8 hours a day. Although I still haven’t gone back to yoga or crossfit, I tried to increase my activities and walked more. For a few days or so, this continued and I was so happy with the little things I do to get back up again. However, I noticed that after a week, especially during weekends, I suddenly go back to my junk life. I mean from Mondays to Thursdays mornings til afternoon, I noticed how committed I am to this lifestyle change. But then at night and when Fridays to Sundays come, I go back zero. I binge eat (mostly on chocolates, bread, chips, dairy food). I under/oversleep (either 4hours or less or 12 hours and more). I laze inside my room. And just gets really cranky on anyone. I really really tried to fight it off but after 3 weekends that passed, nothing’s changed. I don’t really know if it’s just that I don’t have the will to do it with my whole heart or if I’m really having a little psych problem or what. As much as I want to open this to my family and friends (which I tried; Subtly.), they didn’t and wouldn’t even believe me. They’d simply say that I’m being too dramatic. But I know I’m not. It’s really bothering me too much that it’s really taking a toll on me. I can feel that a few more pounds gained, and I’ll breakdown. I don’t know what to do and it’s driving me mad!!!! Can anybody suggest something I can do? Any advice? Or maybe someone who experienced the same? I’m feeling really hopeless.