hey guys-as i do every year, i am watching the jerry lewis mda telethon. i have friends on every area of the spectrum. some friends have disabilities, others don't. i've known my friend chris since 2nd grade. he was dagnosed with muscular dystrophy before he entered elementary school. when i met him, he used a manual wheelchair that he was able to push himself. by the time we graduated from mishawaka, he was in a power chair and his muscles were so weak, that when the bus turned a corner, i had to help him sit back up because he couldn't do it himself. although his body is weak, his spirit is anything but. chris is brilliant. he told he was applying for a college scholarship last we talked. i've lost contact with chris since high school. i should look him up on here.

chris is into technology and music, and is passionate about changing the world's perception of those of us with disabilities-especially the general perception of those of us on wheels.

to be brutally honest, the telethon both inspires and depresses me. i love it because i see so much strength in all those faces. and it reminds me that i am blessed because my cerebral palsy is hell, but it will not kill me. but it also depresses me because i know so many like chris who are slowly and painfully dying. and honestly, it bothers me that there is not a similar telethon for cerebral palsy.

30,000 kids are diagnosed every year with cerebral palsy. it begins with a brain injury. like md, it is permanant, and there is no cure. also like md, it can rob a child of a lot of abilities that most people take for granted. cp can rob a child of their ability to walk, see, speak, hear, control muscle movements,etc. cp can cause seizures, muscle spasms, toileting issues, etc.. i'm not saying this to get people to feel sorry for me. i'm fine. i'm mobile. i'm semi-independant. i'm saying this for the thousands of children who don't have a voice because cp has stolen it. they deserve a fundraiser too.

so for all of these reasons, i was more than a bit bummed. i was sort of in between hungery and binge-mode. i was hungery, but also upset. when i'm hungery, i take the time to prep. even if "prepping" just means sticking pizza in the microwave. so i ended up going to the kitchen and grabbing the bag of tortilla chips. it was a little more than half gone. i ate straight out of the bag. getting a plate would've required thought. as i've said many times, when i binge, i don't think. i eat. period. so this was a "semi-binge"-if that makes sense. oh who am i kidding? it's an addiction. it doesn't EVER make sense!

untill my little miracle occurred.

just when i was beginning to come back into the living room, i heard allison sweeney announce a country singer with md named bradley walker. he sang a blue-grassy gospel song called "why me?" from his red power wheelchair. his body was weak, but his instrument was strong, vivid, beautiful, and clear. the song was about a man asking god "why me?/what have i ever done to deserve your blessings and your love?" in that moment of clarity, i knew deep in my spirit jesus was using that song and this amazing man to minister to me in mid-binge-right in the depths of the pit of my food addiction. i don't know how i kept from crying, because i was sure moved enough to. by the middle of the song, i had stopped eating. after the song, i put the bag away, and even-by god's grace-took the ziploc bag of dorito's out of my purse and threw it away.

so, my friends, that's what happened. i don't know about you, but i think that's a miracle. what do you think?-fallon