Food Addiction Support Group
An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...
from my blog:
i can't believe i did it again...
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Food and Restaurants
hey-by most accounts, today was an AMAZING day. i spent the better part of the day shopping with cassie. we had an absolute blast. we talked, got some insane deals on some serious bling, spent hours in the bookstore, and giggled like 3rd graders half the time.
even though i was having a great time, there was a nervousness i couldn't shake. we were at the mall. ever since i became concious of my food addiction, going to the mall has been a challenge. i definitely enjoy being there, but it's SO hard not to eat constantly. everywhere i look, there's food. pretzels, pizza, cookies, brownies, candy, chocolate...barnes & noble even has a cheesecake-serving coffee shop for crying out loud! god, i LOVE cheesecake! what's a girl supposed to do when it's EVERYWHERE???!!!!!!
for the most part, i was o.k. cassie was a welcome distraction. i don't think she even noticed, or if she did, i didn't know. i was craving food the whole time. the few times the two of us split up i gave in. i just couldn't take it anymore. i scarfed a bear claw while we were waiting on dad. (i really wanted some of the chocolate-covered strawberries, but i was so stuck on getting the food NOW that i didn't want to wait 15 minutes so they could make some for me.) and later, when she went to the bathroom, i went to the OTHER END OF THE MALL just to get a cheesecake brownie. i wasn't really hungery, i just wanted the brownie. on the way back to meet cassie, i realized i hadn't eaten an actual meal in several hours. this time, i was actually hungery, so i grabbed dinner at chick-fil-a, and had devoured half the waffle fries before we met dad to pick us up.
by the time we had loaded ourselves and our stuff in the van, i was having really bad cramps. somehow, this always seems to happen whenever i binge. i would have been fine had i had the self-control to skip the brownie and bear claw. BUT NOOO! i just HAD to have that damn brownie! god, sometimes i am sooo stupid!
as soon as we got home, i ran to the bathroom and got really sick. i wasn't TRYING to make myself sick. it just happened. don't worry guys, i'm NOT buliemic!
WHY THE HELL DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?!!!!!!! i know when i binge i'm going to feel horrible. but I CAN'T STOP!!!!!! i go crazy if i try to fight the cravings. i get fidgety. i sweat. i try to figure out ways to get food whenever i want it. i've even CRIED before because i couldn't get the pizza i was craving! how pathetic is THAT?!!!!!
i am sooo frustrated with myself!!what am i supposed to do? skip going to the mall? but i LIKE going there. my friends like going there with me! am i supposed to punish all my friends and kayla and say "i'm sorry! we can't go to the mall because I am a food addict!"??? no i refuse to let them suffer because i am an addict. please pray for me you guys! i need it! and feel free to leave comments if you have any suggestions about my mall delemia.
a note to cassie: don't feel bad if you didn't realize this was going on. i didn't want to ruin it for you-which is why i didn't tell you straight up. i wanted to have fun with you, and i did. thanks for that. this is my problem, not yours. and it's not your job-or anyone else's-to babysit me, and make sure i don't binge. thanks for hanging out with me today. i love you!
Currently listening:
All Sides
By O.A.R.
Release date: 2008-07-15
i can't believe i did it again...
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Food and Restaurants
hey-by most accounts, today was an AMAZING day. i spent the better part of the day shopping with cassie. we had an absolute blast. we talked, got some insane deals on some serious bling, spent hours in the bookstore, and giggled like 3rd graders half the time.
even though i was having a great time, there was a nervousness i couldn't shake. we were at the mall. ever since i became concious of my food addiction, going to the mall has been a challenge. i definitely enjoy being there, but it's SO hard not to eat constantly. everywhere i look, there's food. pretzels, pizza, cookies, brownies, candy, chocolate...barnes & noble even has a cheesecake-serving coffee shop for crying out loud! god, i LOVE cheesecake! what's a girl supposed to do when it's EVERYWHERE???!!!!!!
for the most part, i was o.k. cassie was a welcome distraction. i don't think she even noticed, or if she did, i didn't know. i was craving food the whole time. the few times the two of us split up i gave in. i just couldn't take it anymore. i scarfed a bear claw while we were waiting on dad. (i really wanted some of the chocolate-covered strawberries, but i was so stuck on getting the food NOW that i didn't want to wait 15 minutes so they could make some for me.) and later, when she went to the bathroom, i went to the OTHER END OF THE MALL just to get a cheesecake brownie. i wasn't really hungery, i just wanted the brownie. on the way back to meet cassie, i realized i hadn't eaten an actual meal in several hours. this time, i was actually hungery, so i grabbed dinner at chick-fil-a, and had devoured half the waffle fries before we met dad to pick us up.
by the time we had loaded ourselves and our stuff in the van, i was having really bad cramps. somehow, this always seems to happen whenever i binge. i would have been fine had i had the self-control to skip the brownie and bear claw. BUT NOOO! i just HAD to have that damn brownie! god, sometimes i am sooo stupid!
as soon as we got home, i ran to the bathroom and got really sick. i wasn't TRYING to make myself sick. it just happened. don't worry guys, i'm NOT buliemic!
WHY THE HELL DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?!!!!!!! i know when i binge i'm going to feel horrible. but I CAN'T STOP!!!!!! i go crazy if i try to fight the cravings. i get fidgety. i sweat. i try to figure out ways to get food whenever i want it. i've even CRIED before because i couldn't get the pizza i was craving! how pathetic is THAT?!!!!!
i am sooo frustrated with myself!!what am i supposed to do? skip going to the mall? but i LIKE going there. my friends like going there with me! am i supposed to punish all my friends and kayla and say "i'm sorry! we can't go to the mall because I am a food addict!"??? no i refuse to let them suffer because i am an addict. please pray for me you guys! i need it! and feel free to leave comments if you have any suggestions about my mall delemia.
a note to cassie: don't feel bad if you didn't realize this was going on. i didn't want to ruin it for you-which is why i didn't tell you straight up. i wanted to have fun with you, and i did. thanks for that. this is my problem, not yours. and it's not your job-or anyone else's-to babysit me, and make sure i don't binge. thanks for hanging out with me today. i love you!
Currently listening:
All Sides
By O.A.R.
Release date: 2008-07-15
Chocolate is the hardest for me I'm just like an alcoholic and can't stop. I must banish chocolate. Maybe not going to the mall for a while would help break the cycle. don't go alone and tell whoever you go with not to let you eat unhealthy foods. Have a salad date. Tell your friend before hand that thats what your eating. Make a plan. don't go anywhere without a food plan!