You know, I totally understand where you are, because I am in the same situation. I just can't seem to *stop.*

But you know, I think we do it to punish ourselves. We step in to continue the job once started by someone else. Also, I know I eat to comfort myself, and probably to keep others away. If I get big enough, who would want me, right? I think over-eating is a very destructive thing to do -- not even because of health reasons, nercessarily. We're literally punishing ourselves with stuff that should be good for us, should nurture us, should be used in moderation.

I get it. I went to Taco Bell last night for dinner. It's my latest weakness. Woke up in the middle of the night with a tummyache, of course, and a ton of guilt. I so understand where you are.

thesecret....I loved your reply - I identified and agreed with so much of what you said. Very insightful!!
And kamib, I also felt everything you said, as well. Intellectually, it is so easy to know what the right and healthy thing is to do, but emotionally, it is so easy to go back to that place that brings us that unconditional comfort that we are so used to.
I have recommended this book a few times on this site, but I would like to suggest it again - "Overcoming Binge Eating" by DR. Christopher Fairburn is an excellent resource to shed some insight on why we do the things we do and it contains some coping skills to help to deal with food issues. Maybe you could check it out?? Also, have you ever been to couselling to help address the underlying issues that cause you to overeat?
I hope you find the support you are looking for!

thank you both!

i'm a therapist too, so that doesn't help. i'm *supposed* to know how to take care of myself. so i'll do my best to not get too therapisty on ya'll!!

i have been to counseling. it was always for depression or for grief or other things like that. i always looked at the over eating as a symptom of whatever else i was dealing with at any given time. the the older i get the more i remember about when i was little. i have a niece who is built just like i was, and not overweight at all. but she's tall and athletic; and 4 years old. someone called her heavy the other day and i wanted to deck them.

i didn't want to go back that far, but it seems that's just the way it has to be. i also will check out that book, as doing it on my own doesn't seem to be working.

thank you for your kind words and understanding. it's very hard for me to describe how i feel about this problem, and it helps that i'm not the only one who sees the insanity in it!

I'm right there with you. I could teach others how to do it, motivate them etc...but carying it through to my life just dosn't seem to work. mine is a lot of self esteem issues, i eat cause it's filling this void, either i'm stressed, hurt, angry whatever, pick an emotion. but writing on here in my journal and hearing the honest stories of the othr brave women out there has helped a lot. i'm seeing more than a small glimer of hope where before there was only darkness. oh and if therapist could heal theirselves they wouldn't be therapist lol..that's what one told me once. but they had a point, the basic need for love acceptance etc dosn't go away cause you are a therapist, and if you have hurts from the past why shouldn't you need to heal too?

i spent years obssessing about, and trying to control, what i ate. finally i realized this addiction has nothing to do with food. i think thesecret summed it up quite consisely 'we do it to punish ourselves. to continue the job someone else started'. if it wasn't food it would be some other way.

trying to control what i ate didn't work at all - until i made a conscious effort to challenge all the negative and harsh things i thought about myself. things i wasn't even really aware of until i started paying attention to all my random thoughts. when i learned to respect myself and care about me - when the desire to punish myself lessened - the desire to binge lessened.

I tried everything to try to control my out of control war with myself and food...I remember thinking that if I could just get someone so mad at me they woul swing, bust my jaw and then I could only eat thru a straw...The insanity right? Right! The only thing that worked was accepting that I have a chronic disease that is progressive and will kill me if not physically then emotionally and spiritually and I needed to stop trying to control it and then I went to OA and it is the ONLY thing that has helped me...
Peace,
Nicol
Taking the first step to goto a meeting is the hardest part...

i've thought of OA. i've also thought of TOPS. the biggest fear i have is that i'll run into a client. which is a TOTAL excuse. look how i just talked myself out of it. jeesh. i'm also afraid of losing control. of what, i'm not really sure. more judgement i suppose. i did check into some local treatment options though. so that's a start. i'm hoping that when my boyfriend gets insurance, i can take a few months off of work and do a program. i'd like to do that eventually anyways.