Hi Amanda,

Firstly, welcome here to this board. I hope that as you come here you will find the support and love you need for your recovery journey!

Changing addictive behaviours is not an overnight process. What once worked may not always work for us. Whilst my story is so very different from yours (I've struggled with EDs - anorexia/BEDs etc for over the last 34 years), I can share what's worked for me.

If you can afford it, get some professional help i.e. counselling or therapy. Overcoming an addiction or ED is very challenging and having support and a professional's insight really makes all the difference to your recovery.

However, this is not practical for everyone and I understand this. Can you talk to your doctor about this? Or a trusted friend?

Secondly, don't try to change everything all at once, overnight! That's not feasible nor helpful. Try to look at just one thing or one behaviour and work on changing that little by little. Change, real change, takes a lot of work, a lot of self-examination and a lot of commitment.... to be willing to let go of what is NOT working for you in your life, and being courageous enough to do things differently. This also needs to be practised like any new skill. It takes a long time for us to "change our mind" i.e. change our thinking patterns, which in turn affect our emotions, and thus our behaviour!

Try to just take one small step each day to do something differently... congratulate yourself (non-food reward) when you are able to do it.... BUT let it go and forgive yourself when you are unable to manage it. Take it one meal at a time, one issue at a time, and one day at a time.

Baby steps worked well for me along each step of my journey and I would encourage you to not give up, don't give into panic or fear, and be kind to yourself. I now live in recovery and sanity and have Life with a capital L! Recovery is possible. And you are worth the work!!

Take care, Kim :-)