Financial Challenges Support Group
This community is for people who are struggling to meet financial obligations of any kind. Financial challenges include everything from the day-to-day challenges of making ends meet to managing credit card debt to bankruptcy. Get support from others who are going through similar obstacles on the road back to financial stability.
Hi, I am new to this group. My H became unemployed in July of 2011. He was on unemployment pay and we were making due okay until his unemployment pay ended after Jan. I am self-employed cleaning homes and business and make a descent income but it is definitely not enough. My H is 52 and I just turned 50. It seems you can't get a job once you pass the big 5-0. He is picking up a little work here and there and he helps me whenever I have more work than I can do by myself. I just put an add in the paper to try and get more work that he will have to do with me because I am pretty close to maxed out as it is. I work way too hard and sometimes I come home so tired I cry.
We are on month 2 of not having his unemployment and we have begun to slip behind now, as expected. We are going to have to start giving up some things now that I don't want to give up and it is making me sad. We have some situations going on with our kids concerning college that we are having trouble dealing with because of the lack of funds.
We know that we may end up losing cars or our house if we can't raise our income. The worst thing about losing the house, quite frankly, is the time and work of moving. I just don't have the energy to deal with a move.
I have always had a hard time, psychologically, with financial crisis. I am dealing with it by prayer and taking it one day at a time. I hate being the primary bread winner. I hate working SO HARD, only to not have enough to make ends meet. It's very discouraging.
We are on month 2 of not having his unemployment and we have begun to slip behind now, as expected. We are going to have to start giving up some things now that I don't want to give up and it is making me sad. We have some situations going on with our kids concerning college that we are having trouble dealing with because of the lack of funds.
We know that we may end up losing cars or our house if we can't raise our income. The worst thing about losing the house, quite frankly, is the time and work of moving. I just don't have the energy to deal with a move.
I have always had a hard time, psychologically, with financial crisis. I am dealing with it by prayer and taking it one day at a time. I hate being the primary bread winner. I hate working SO HARD, only to not have enough to make ends meet. It's very discouraging.
Both times he was out of work, he finally took a job at entry level as a custodian. He has been able to make some advancement to supervisory positions, but he still works his butt off and comes home so tired everyday. He is 52 years old as well.
I know this is hard for you. Hope he finds something soon.
Hugs to you.
Thank you babyrena and theletter12, we haven't looked into any gov aid stuff because I do make a descent income so we kinda slip through the cracks on any help of that sort. Especially since we are now only 2 people.
I worked when I was in college too. Our youngest, who goes to UT, was going to work, but as reality has it, he is barely keeping up and very very busy so I don't see how he would manage it. He may try next year though. I am hoping he gets a summer job. That would help. He is a good saver.
Another hit on the financial front is that my oldest son, who is 24 and has some disabilities is going to culinary school next month for a year. (You have no idea what a miracle that is) He has been giving us some of his SSI money each month to help out. That will be gone. He has also been paying for our family membership at the local fitness club where we have gone swimming each weeknight evening for the last 2 years. We are likely going to have to give that up and I hate that. It is super soothing to me to sit in the hot tub when I am tired and sore from my long work day and then we swim laps and have a little play time. This feeds into the other groups I am on here. It is like marriage therapy for us, as we have been rebuilding our marriage these last 2 years and it is also helping us keep off our weight we have lost and stay healthy. It seems silly for me to be so upset over losing out on the gym, but it has become really valuable for me so it is making me sad. I have one plan by which we may be able to keep the gym and it involves taking on some babysitting a few evenings a month. It may possibly work and it may be worth the sacrifice.
On one more front, our daughter is due to have our first grandchild next month and she is 11 hrs away. I saved the money for this trip a long time ago and I am determined that it will not be touched, no matter what. We WILL go see that baby. One way or another.
I will keep you updated. Anything could happen at this point. It is all in flux.
I was downsized by AT&T in 2002 after working there for 18 years. I was 50 when I was downsized and although the job market was almost as tough then as it is now, I can honestly say I didn't let the fact that I was an older worker bother me. I just felt that I had a lot of skills, work experience and a really great work ethic and that hiring managers would be crazy not to see that. After losing my job yet again in late 2009 (this time after refusing to bow down to some double standard bs, I was fired after refusing to quit. I was out of work for 26 months before getting a clerical position with a nearby school district in January of 2012. The hourly wage is decent, but, the position is only 25 hours a week, so my daughter and I are still struggling financially.
I can totally relate to your having a tough time psychologically with financial crisis. I work 4 days a week, and I came home from work yesterday excited about having a few days of rest, only to find a rent increase notice at my front door. My daughter and I are struggling financially as it is, and the 135.00 a month increase will just make that struggle even harder. You are right, hon - it IS very discouraging.
I wish I had some words of advice for you, but, all I can offer is my understanding of what you're going through. I just turned 61 last Wednesday and I just never dreamed I would be where I am at this stage of my life. But, all we can do is hang in there.
I hope things start to turn around for you and your hubby.
Hugs,
Janice
It made me look at my priorities and I was forced to downsize a lot. Got rid of a lot of possessions and now feel more free with owning a whole lot less.
When I look back at it, I had no idea what the future held or how I would survive... it took awhile to get my feet firmly back on the ground but it did turn out ok.
I am sorry you are going through this and hope everything works out ok for you...
Have you contacted the college to tell them about this? But maybe your student already receives financial aide. Our son was in a private school when my husband lost his job 4 if not 5 years ago. They cut our son's tuition.
I sold everything but my shoes. Just kidding but I did immediately sell. I sold my round pen,( got almost what I paid for God was working) my saddle, again God working and my Explorer. I have late lyme disease so my memory is not good I am sure I sold more than that,
We were going to cut off cable but they worked with us and brought the bill down quite significantly. We wear a LOT of clothes in the Winter and kept the thermostat at 60 but not anymore. He is working now (thank God) but part time at probably 1/20 of what we used to make.
We were blessed there too because while a lot of his friends were buying second homes and boats and such we saved. We both had a feeling this airline was not going to make it. The savings saved us. And then I remember applying for food stamps, they were very nice to me. It was hard to do but it was a God send. I do not mind paying taxes especially when the money goes to places like this.
Oh and being sick, I found a clinic. My most expensive medicine I still get free. Have you all checked with the manufacturers of your meds to see if you qualify for their low income programs?
For the longest time our son could not find a job after graduation then a miracle occurred and he now has one with benefits, we are grateful. My daughter is interviewing soon for a transfer scholarship that would cut tuiton 75% and that is merit they would also give her financial aide as our income is low.
My goodness life is a challenge isn't it? I find counting my blessings and being close to Jesus to make me every bit as happy as when we were making a lot of money athough I can relate it is so stressful at times. My mom's birthday is day after Easter and I splurged and bought two books for her. Walmart.com is cheaper for a lot of things site to store.
I do wish I knew a cheaper way to get my vitamins. Does anybody know? I take so many. Oh, don' forget Goodwill for clothes. I find the greatest stuff there at a fraction of the cost.
Gabrielle, I freaked when hubby lost job the first time. I had a two year old and a baby and nothing to sell. I was so scared, You are on the right track with prayer. I will pray for all of us here. (I do realize I can get turned in for talking about God on ds on posts that are not Christian but I can't be separated as a person if that makes any sense. I know nobody is perfect but for me I have found Joyce meyer tv shows to be uplifting. And I bought (splurged) Battlefield of the Mind on ebay and have found some of her books at Goodwill. She does not preach down she teaches.
Hubby had a job interview yesterday. Seems promising, but we've been through this plenty of times. Every interview is, in essence, a contest. Only one winner.
On the plus side, these past 2 weeks I have been killing myself because I have had so much work. This makes it harder for me psychologically to work so hard, but it is more money. H has worked with me 3 half days both weeks.
Meantime, he is taking care of a host of things at home as well as continuing to work on his "side" careers. He is a published author, but as of now we only make about 200 a year on that. Would love to see that go up. It is a steady climb. He also has an insurance license that he recently acquired. He has joined up with a brokerage firm to see if he can make a go of that. but he is more of a hermit than a socialite so I am thinking he will have a hard time selling much. He has never been good at selling anything. Me either.
It is only one week till we send our son to culinary school. This is a heck of a stressful week because of that. So many things to deal with. Ack!!! I finally broke down and asked the church to have an apartment shower for him to help get some of the things he will need since money is beyond tight right now. Looks like they will be helping out very well. They have known us a long time.
Our daughter is having labor 3 weeks early. She is on day seven of having labor pains. She is dialated to a 1.5. apparently one can stay suspended in this place for weeks. How miserable. We may be making that trip I have saved for, to see the baby, sooner than I had planned.
At least my son at UT is not currently creating any drama, Lol.
One bill at a time. One issue at a time. Bite size pieces. We can do this. Thanks everyone for being here.
Hang in there. It will get better, given time. I had a s**t day but they happen.
I hope we find substitutes for the things we got out of going to the gym.
I had a fall, years ago and it changed my entire world and I had no emergency fund, I had spent my 401K moving and buying places in an attempt to make my mom happy and it didn't make her happy, plus I fully supporting and paying for my Mom, and I was finished off by a fall. It left me disabled and unable to work, over $50,000 in debt from a hospital bill, plus other bills from specialists and paramedics and I consulted and discovered I had no choice but to file bankruptcy.
Your younger son can work while going to college. If he is barely making it right now without working, then it's time to talk to him about this and explain that money is really tight and he now has to buckle down, really put himself into studying and get working too. Many of us, including me, had to work while going to college and we made it. College becomes a luxury when money is short and a parent is out of work. Your son can do this.
Suzy Orman is excellent about money and see what you can find out on the internet from her.
I wish you the very best. When things were bad for me, I rented out a room in my place to a culinary student because there is one of those schools near me. You do what you have to do to get by. You also yard sale to get rid of excess stuff that you don't need, that kids have grow out of or don't use and to get rid of stuff that you know if you go into an apartment, that just won't fit. If you yard sale now and only accept cash, you will get rid of so much and it will give you cash now. Good luck and many hugs.