Financial Challenges Support Group

This community is for people who are struggling to meet financial obligations of any kind. Financial challenges include everything from the day-to-day challenges of making ends meet to managing credit card debt to bankruptcy. Get support from others who are going through similar obstacles on the road back to financial stability.

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My challenge

rheaaife
rheaaife
At this time the only one working in our home is my husband. I am trying to get disability because of all of my medical issues. We barely make ends meet. We have rent, a car payment, electric, gas, water and phone are our only bills but yet we barely have enough to buy food where we live. There is one food pantry in our town that you can go to once a month. For a family of 5 we get a small box to help us out. We do get some food stamps but $94.00 does not go that far. My daughter wants to get a job but I need to get here an ID. We live in a very small town and people around here really do not like to help others. My mother said that she is disappointed in me because my children wear clothing from thrift stores. She always tells me that I was raised better than that. Well, we had more money and I was an only child that my grandparents bought everything for. My children's grandparents do not buy anything or give anything to my children unless they get something back. I was raised one way and they treat my kids differently. I want to be able to give my childrens things but they understand that we can not. They have learned even when they have money they buy things that are the lowest price. Am I wrong for teaching my children the way that I have and is there any help out there that I do not know about?
billwfriend
billwfriend
sorry that your parents are being unhelpful....it is tough to lose an income when one person gets sick...hope your disability is approved...hugs and kids I have none of them so I will keep my 2cents in my pocket about kids...
rheaaife
rheaaife
My kids are helpful and they seem to understand that we do not have a lot. They are both happy having their friends come over to our house and since we live in a small town they walk everywhere on their own.
Messenger2010
Messenger2010
I quit giving my grandkids anything because I never got a thank you for it. I wasn't demanding anything in return.

When I was growing up if I got a gift I was made to write a thank you card. I never get that. And if the kids didn't want to, I could even accept that but for my daughter to not even send a thank you is just wrong.

She'd take the time to write her name on a check and cash it but take no time to say thank you.

I'm not saying this is you, I'm saying as a grandparent it really hurt that they couldn't say thank you. So I just quit sending money to them.

As far as a child and ID... aren't they given a social security number at birth? That and a birth certificate can get a non-drivers license ID for a relatively low price.
rheaaife
rheaaife
Yes they have a SS card and birth certificate. The nearest licence bureau is about 20 miles away. My kids say thank you and have learned manners like I had growing up. My mother in law would rather help her daughter out and her oldest grandchild. My mother has never been much help. Her theory is that they learn that this world is a hard place with nothing.
OhmyDonna
OhmyDonna
My son and my grandchildren are ungrateful for anything that I do for them. BUT, my son is an only child and my life has always centered around him so, of course, I taught him to not appreciate me and my gifts to him and that has passed on to my grandchildren.

So, I pulled back what I do for them. I used to buy groceries for him because he did not have money for groceries but the lack of gratitude hurt me very much. So, now I don't buy groceries for him any longer.

I had a friend tell me one time that no matter how much I supported and loved my grandchildren, that it was inevitable that they would grow up and forget about me. Her words were prophetic.

Gosh, I digress.

Parents have an obligation to raise their children to become adults and then go out into the world to fend for themselves. I do not mean to be cold about this, but it is the way of the world.

RheaAife, I felt so bad for you when I read what you wrote. I do not have any suggestions other than to tell you to keep the faith and that God rewards those who keep faith and keep moving forward.

Do you have skills such as sewing? My mother supplements her income by recycling denim into quilts and selling them. She is 81 years old so she does not sew like she once did but at one time, her income was an additional $1500 a month from cash sales of her quilts to people she found "on the street." She did not pay taxes on the income.
rheaaife
rheaaife
Thank you for all of the responses. OhmyDonna, I like the idea of trying to sew quilts and it is a good idea. It just does not work in my town. The town that I live in has 5 shops for quilting supplies and a building that people can go and sew their quilts. That is about all we have in the small town where I live. I tried to sell some of the things that I do make and was told that if the quilt was not made at the quilt shop no one would want it. It kind of made me upset. I crochet and cross stitch but not many want things like that around here.
I really should be used to my mother not being helpful. It has always been a fight between her and I about what family should do for each other. I have finally given up there. My mother in law was told by her daughter that if she was not going to help us then she should not help her. She had not realized that she was the only one that her mom was helping.
We will figure things out. It will just probably be hard for a while.
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