Financial Challenges Support Group
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I am 18 years old and live at home with my Father, Mom, Niece, and Sister. My father used to make a good amount of money working at a manufacturing company, but he got laid off a few years ago. He found a job at a hospital and used to be full time. But recently the hospital cut his hours to part time.
I know things are rough because we have been eating less and less at the table recently. My mom argues all the time about the finances. My mom and dad smoke and I know that a big portion of money is wasted on it ... I try to encourage them to stop smoking, but it is a hard habit to break. They both still smoke.
My mom gets a social security check from when she used to work, but I know that this monthly check is not being able to keep up with the mortgage, bills, etc...(I hear about it nearly everyday). My mom can't necessarily get a job because she has bipolar disorder and depression, and it is very hard for her to see the possibility of working again.
My sister spends nearly all her time at her school and does not have the time for a job.
I have a job ... But have a big issue with my spending habits. I waste money buying things online a lot.... buy lots of fast food, snacks, etc.
People don't understand the seriousness of it... I feel that I -need- to buy things or I can't sleep or think right until I do. Sometimes I forget what I just bought or don't remember where packages came from in the mail. Anyway, this is why I have a hard time giving my dad some of my paycheck towards the family.
I know this was a lot to read...but I sincerely appreciate all who read this and any advice is deeply appreciated.
I know things are rough because we have been eating less and less at the table recently. My mom argues all the time about the finances. My mom and dad smoke and I know that a big portion of money is wasted on it ... I try to encourage them to stop smoking, but it is a hard habit to break. They both still smoke.
My mom gets a social security check from when she used to work, but I know that this monthly check is not being able to keep up with the mortgage, bills, etc...(I hear about it nearly everyday). My mom can't necessarily get a job because she has bipolar disorder and depression, and it is very hard for her to see the possibility of working again.
My sister spends nearly all her time at her school and does not have the time for a job.
I have a job ... But have a big issue with my spending habits. I waste money buying things online a lot.... buy lots of fast food, snacks, etc.
People don't understand the seriousness of it... I feel that I -need- to buy things or I can't sleep or think right until I do. Sometimes I forget what I just bought or don't remember where packages came from in the mail. Anyway, this is why I have a hard time giving my dad some of my paycheck towards the family.
I know this was a lot to read...but I sincerely appreciate all who read this and any advice is deeply appreciated.
This line is a big read flag: I feel that I -need- to buy things or I can't sleep or think right until I do.
Spending money has become a way of soothing yourself and that behavior can really escalate and cause you problems (or it has for me).
Money Drunk by Julia Cameron is a good book to read that describes this pattern.
I am sorry that you live in a home that is having so much financial stress. I am sure that has to promote anxiety, but it is better to find produtive ways of dealing with anxieity (like maybe exercise) then it is to ease your anxiety in ways that may promote bad habits. Good luck!
Welcome to the board! :D
I agree w/ suzsyP that it reads as if you might have an emotional spending problem, where you are using money as an emotional support and comfort to compensate for what's going on around you.
I also agree that either seeking counseling or Debtors/Overspenders Anonymous might be a good idea. Some counselors use the holistic approach to help you understand your spending issues and why you spend the way you do. They can give you useful tools or exercises on how to overcome your spending addiction. Once your on the road to healing financially, I think you'll be able to heal emotionally.
My last piece of advice is please know that you can't be your parents problem solver since the strife and discord they have regarding their finances is beyond your control.
I'm not saying that you can't or shouldn't love and support your family either emotionally or financially, but rather make sure you are taking both emotional and financial time to heal yourself, before helping others
. Having been both an emotional and financial cheerleader so to speak for others at one point in time I know first hand how emotionally and financially exhausting it can be. By taking to help heal yourself first, you'll then be able to be good to others.
I hope things turn around for you and your family soon! Good Luck :D
I will definitely take steps to control my spending - and I will try to buy things like chicken breasts and ground beef at the store - instead of junk - so we can have more plentiful meals. Great suggestion to all who mentioned it!
I will contribute what I can to the family finances...
Alot of stress was eased just through writing on this board and reading your replies.
Again: a BIG, sincere, THANK YOU to all of you! :)