I saw a PCP (not my regular as he's on vacation) yesterday to get tested for lyme disease in my efforts to rule other things out. He thought it was a good idea for me to see another rheumatologist to get a second opinion on my fibro diagnosis. He also was clearly leaning toward MS, which has been mentioned by a few doctors now. I told him I'd had an MRI, and it was clear, and he responded, "Did they do a spinal tap?"

He also went on to check my pressure points. Only one really made me jump, though admittedly, he was kind of all over the place in where he touched me. (Meaning, it seemed he was way off as to location. haha!)

Long story short, I'm very unsettled and very tired of this whole mess.

Here's part of what freaks me out. I'm on 1800 mg of gabapentin and take, usually 100mg of tramadol per day. Before the gabapentin, I was a mess. The pain was unbearable, there were so many nights I was up all night, hoping my exhaustion would override the pain and I'd fall asleep. I cannot go back there again.

There are things about my symptoms that admittedly probably lean more toward MS and less toward fibro, but I also don't have many of the classic MS symptoms, and I would've expected it to progress more by now, as it's been about 4 years since my first "event/issue".

So I'm afraid and incredibly sad and discouraged and so ready for this all to be over. I want to pursue this, to either confirm or deny I have fibro, and if I don't, to figure out what it is and how to treat it, but I'm terrified in my pursuit, I'll be denied the gabapentin and will be left to deal with the pain. And honestly, I'm not sure I could handle that.

I've decided to wait for now. I had an apt. with a new rheumy for next week but I'm going to reschedule, monitor my symptoms more, hope this all goes away...