It another bad night.. My mind is rushing around. The soreness that had his friend pain with him is here. My perfect bed with softest sheets and cozy blanket is hurting me tonight. I’ve had fibro so long I don’t remember what it’s like without it.

I am in so much pain there are times I don’t know when I need to use the bathroom. I am finally see a specialist. You would have thought me saying that for years they would have gave me one. But no go to a psychiatrist. Cause it all in your head. When I started with doctor that believed me. But getting disable means whole new rules.

So all I do is try. The Pills the doctors give me, the pills I find that might help that over the counter. I try and still I can’t work. I try to clean, cook, and do laundry for two.  And still I do too much.

I live with my dad. I am 40. I want to be on my own. But I can’t. Now my doctor is talking about medical marijuana.

Then in late July I go to the doctor. I have been diarrhea for about two months. Yeah I should have gone earlier. But with my fibro I never know. I am told I have hyperthyroidism, graves disease and I need a hysterectomy. I need sunglasses with my new prescriptions and glasses. I have order them.

I am having a bad night because in Oct I am leaving on a trip to London, Italy, Cario, Paris all in 34 days with my dad who wear a full leg brace.  I am having a bad night because hyperthyroidism, graves disease and needing a hysterectomy is all too much.