Not that common, I think.
I do live in VA but am a married woman, so probably not your type, LOL;-)

My FM popped up after marriage, and opinions vary. Be honest with a "normal" or look for a fellow FMer? Depends. I myself had epilepsy and that dx is another one that is "forever" but I didn't think about whether I should be with someone who got what it's like to have seizures. I went for the person, and if they can't cope with my issues, well, then he's not the right one.

That said, I've been married 21 years to a guy I met my first week of college, so I didn't ahve to look too long or too hard!

My gut call is: Look for someone who'll care about *you* and hopefully the rest sorts itself out.

Good luck!
Leo

Thank you Leo, my ex husband didn't care about me and was always pissed on my bad days saying, you're always sick! So anyway, do I tell them upfront or wait to establish a relationship/friendship first?? My gut tells me to establish a friendship, and when things start to go to the next level to "level" with them lol, no pun intended. Whatcha think? julie

Hey There,

Dating, looking for a life partner, is not fun, but I give you credit for putting yourself out there and looking for someone to share your life with-that takes courage, so Yeah for you :)

I think it is important to remember that you are not your illness! So, if you want to disclose your Fibro from the start, I guess you could say something like "I have Fibro, but Fibro does not have me. I like to (Fill in the blank with your interests).

That way you have brought up the Fibro, people can ask questions if they want, but you have made it clear that there is so much more to you than stupid Fibro!

Keep us posted! I haven't been on the dating scene in 4 years since my divorce, and it scares the heck out of me!

You are one brave woman....don't let Fibro get in the way of your happiness :)

Hi Julie, not your type either but I do think you're right about establishing a friendship first. I think that's always the best way to go as finding someone you can talk and laugh with is key to long term happiness.

Remind me where in VA you are.

Hi Curly,

I have a very strong feeling that your soulmate will soon cross your path. The best way to clear the way for the path is focus on being you because from what I can see from how you express yourself you have a whole lot of personality with a good heart. Your sincerity and your fun nature shines through. Your true love will take notice of you and a friendship will develop and evolve into what you have been looking for, someone who loves you for who you and just the way you are. Remember, if they really have depth and know how to love and appreciate all that you have to offer then the fibro will not be an issue or turn off. I am pretty sure your ex would have been your ex regardless of fibro because he sounds like he would get annoyed with anyone if they caught the common cold every once in a while. Simply put, those kind of people don't know what love is or how to love. I agree with what LuLu said, don't bring up the fibro until you have established a friendship and let the person get to know who you are first. I think you are going to be pleasantly surprised.

Just be you. When it comes up, it does. I like what was said---establish friendship (my DH & I were friends for a couple of years first). Then you'll know how much trust you can place in the other person. And have some fun:-)

Leo

I'm in NC but VA is too far of a drive for me. ;-). I have dated 3 guys since my Dx. The first guy I dated I told after a few weeks because he was picking on me about being cold all the time so I was up front with why. 2nd guy I dated I only went on one date with so never told him. The 3rd guy I dated we had talked for weeks & I told him the night of our first date again cause the conversation was to a point where I had to make up an excuse & lie to him or tell him the truth. Oh and there was the guy that I talked to for a month but never actually met, I told him cause we discussed if I wanted more kids, & fibro is a huge part of my decision & would drastically affect our long term possibility.

Just follow your heart, I wouldn't try to look for someone with fibro because most likely they are not advertising the fact that they have it. If the conversation takes you there.......be honest. Good luck on the dating sites. I'm there with you.

Thank you ladies so very much, it is so nice to come here in my hour of need and feel the warmth of your words! I feel better about waiting now, and can focus on me again, plus I am writing a book!! Yea me! Hope everyone is pain free and energy full today. xoxoxo

julie
ps. I live in Grottoes Virginia