Do you ever feel like you have literally one thing going right in your life, and then that thing starts to fall apart? That's where I'm at right now. I feel totally alone since breaking up with my ex 2 months ago...Logically it was the right thing to do; the relationship was stressful, borderline abusive (not physically), and emotionally damaging. But now that he's moved out he's hounding me to take him back and I have almost NO support system. I literally have 2 friends I talk to more than once every 3 months or so (and if you add the others the number only goes up to 4). I'm not close to my family, my parents are incredibly controlling and tend to get angry if I start crying/getting upset, which triggers severe anxiety. My sister has literally not said a word to me regarding the breakup, although I'm sure she knows about it. We get along but mostly our conversations are infrequent and revolve around her. So I'm dealing with all this stress and drama, venting to my friends probably way more than I should(eventually they're going to get sick of hearing about it), barely able to pay bills by myself, not sleeping much, in a world of pain, etc.
On top of that I got a rash while taking antibiotics that won't go away even with stopping the antibiotic, taking antihistamines then steroids. So more stress in the form of doctors visits and copays I can't afford. Now the other day I was running (my one remaining positive thing in my life), and a couple hours later my shin started hurting and hasn't stopped. So now I'm anxious about that because without exercise my fibro pain is going to get worse. I've dealt with self injury (cutting, burning myself) in the past and as time goes on things are feeling more and more hopeless. I'm not in danger of hurting myself today but I'm feeling increasingly hopeless/desperate for relief and those thoughts have been creeping in...