I wish I could help more, but I have almost the same problem. My husband said he'd help clean for when the cable installer came, then when it was time to clean he didn't help. I of course ended up feeling like 'he works, I stay at home, I should be able to do this' (but I can't) and not only was I a crying mess, but when we finally talked he said he thought the house was clean enough.(I told him I was sorry that living with me has so lowered his view on what clean is.)

There was a fight in there somewhere too.

I think I'd just do my best to try to teach my child that we all have to pick up after ourselves, tell your husband again, but maybe more in a way that 'Hey, this mess bothers me & I'd really appreciate a little help here & there." Sometimes that helps a little, & sometimes it just slides back into no help.

Hugs.....

My DH started that way till I took a page outta MOm's book and said, "OK, I will do waht I can." SO I only cleaned up my own messes, my own laundry and did my own cooking. Two things happened---- first was, he realized how much I do. Second was, he realized he does in fact know how to do this. So we worked out an agreement that there are chores that are HIS and his alone, and if they aren't done, I do not do them. Note, however, my hubby is okay with a less than very clean house and can take up to a month to clean HIS bathroom. (EW.)

I agree, focus on raising your child to see it's better to be tidy if not spotlessly perfectly clean (who acn manage that?!) .... On husbands, I have no advice. I wish I did.

Hi ladies,

I have the perfect solution. My hubbie used to be the same way but I got the issue fixed. I told him that i could not do it myself , like you I am disabled. I cannot. I asked for help, begged , pleaded fought, and put up lists all over. Nothing worked. so one day I made a lsit of all the cleaning services available and the price. I called everyone and got quotes. I evean had people come give quotes when he was home. I made himfeellike a real shit . that he was. After all of the quotes I sat down at the supper table and said you get to pick which one comes to clean, knowing full well we could not afford it. But I said we will cut the cable in half to pay for it. Well.....that was the straw that got the camel moving. I never had to ask again. In fact sometimes it works to good and I feel guilty. but I could not do it and fighting just caused undue stress which is no good for chronic pain. As for your child make a chart and say , mommy cannot do this anymore so you need to help me. these are your jobs, I will pay you an allowance to help out. If you do not help than the TV will be shut off during your shows. IT TAKES BALLS BUT I GOT THEM. . It is the only thing that works. So I hope it works for you. if he fights you then go to step towo and suggest he leaves so you canget social asst or disabilty to come clean. It is a hard choice , but if your sick and you cannot do it , what can you do. Hope this helps, I am hear to listen. Believe you me I felt guilty , because I had always worked and done it all, but there are times when you have to say I can not.good luck isabee

I feel your pain. My hubby works a lot. He does the yard work, but I am on my own in the house. It is totally exhausting.

I love leo's advice and did try it... We lived in hell and I can't let our house look that way either. It is a battle. I do what I have to and that is about it. Waxing hardwoods, ironing, forget it. Cut what you can. ;)

My husband does all the shopping. That way he can control the $ too. He does dishes during the week, and simple cooking. Our grown dtr. does this on the weekends.

My house is not nearly clean enough. But my health comes first. We do have a maid every 2 weeks, to change the beds, I can't do that either. Dtr. pays her.

It's all compromise and cooperation. But what else can we do?

LOL....I love Leo's and Isabee's advice!!! Sometimes we have to go to "extreme measures" for them to get it!

Oh, and I forgot to add, that reminds me of the I Love Lucy episode where Lucy does just that: divides the apartment down the middle with tape and only cleans her half....haha!

Thanks all for your advice. Last night I came home with a big box and cleaned the living room and dining room. Magazine and other paper goods went straight to the trash. Clothes and dishes to their homes. Toys and misc husband stuff dumped in garage and boys room. The house is not as clean as I would like but it will do for now. I like the idea of getting quotes which we also can't afford. My son helped last night and said he would do better.

I have found that I can do some good cleaning a few minutes at a time. So for ten or fifteen minutes each hour (or less, if need be), I can clean something well. And this keeps my house fairly clean and organized. I've been very surprised at what gets done in little spurts of energy (well, maybe not really energy but effort...fibros don't have energy!!!).

I do not know what I would do without mine... but I would survive.. I do give hims credit.. for he has done quite a bit for me..

He does all the grocery shopping, laundry.. vacuming.. i will do these chores too but only if he forgets.. i have disk disease along with fibro.. and dealing with some sciatica.. so..

I do not understand some men.. not wanting to help their wives.. or mates... i am one who has a low tolerance to men in general..

I take no shit from them... Your hubby is probably doubtful of the pain you suffer.... he would not last one day with me..

I feel for you , it is hard to get everything done when you suffer... Hope things improve for you... :)

Have you tried putting one foot up his a-- and hopping on the other foot? Comical visual -- but hard to do when you hurt so much... Sa La Vie!

Totally agree wth Isabee's response. I finally hired a housecleaning service last month. I had talked about it for two years and finally just did it. Hubby has spinal stenosis, high BP and sleep problems. Cable TV is expensive these days so deciding between that and a clean house is a good solution/threat. It's a shame that some men still think housework is women's work. And it amazes me that most men just don't see the mess and dirt. As long as there's a clean trail to the recliner, they're fine LOL!!
Good luck dear.

Before fibro, I used to come home after school working so hard, cleaning, washing the dishes, laundy and all....Nowwwww..I feel like everyy single thing is like a punishment .......My hubbyyis very helpful (let's hope he stays this way) cause at night I do NOTHING ,....cause my whole body hurts...........................

I truely hope that ur hubby would understand ur needs and help more cause we just can't do it on our own

I find myself doubting that he does believe me or understand how truly terrible it really is. It's frustrating and sad. I am so happy (and jealous) for the ladies that have help from their partners. I will just keep doing the best I can and hoping that he will soon see the light!