Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
I was just wondering what some of my fellow fibromites do to cope with the daily woes of fibromyalgia. I use humor a lot. I try not to be too self-deprecating, but I will sometimes just make jokes about what I am going through. For instance, I use a cane a lot because it often hurts to walk. When people ask what is going on, I will sometimes tell them that I'm think I'm doing well for 86 years old (I'm 50 in three weeks). I have a coworker/cube mate who also uses a cane daily for a service-related injury. I collectively refer to us as the 'wounded soldiers' in the office. (He is fine with this and we get along very well.) I just make jokes about anything even if it is not fibro-related. I find it just helps me to avoid depression when I laugh.
The downside of this is that it sometimes masks the fact that I am in extreme pain. I look happy and therefore family, friends and coworkers sometimes take that to mean that I am ok. The irony is that the more I am joking and laughing, the more pain I am usually in. So when my husband wants to go to the movies on the spur of the moment and I decline, he looks dejected. When friends and coworkers invite me to come out with them and I take a pass, they tell me that I look fine and they want to know the "real" reason why I don't want to join them.
So I am wondering what others here do to cope. I mean, it is so hard sometimes to get people to understand that this condition controls your whole life every single day. You would think that me appearing happy and keeping things light-hearted would mean that I was making things easier for the people in my life, but these days that does not seem to be the case.
The downside of this is that it sometimes masks the fact that I am in extreme pain. I look happy and therefore family, friends and coworkers sometimes take that to mean that I am ok. The irony is that the more I am joking and laughing, the more pain I am usually in. So when my husband wants to go to the movies on the spur of the moment and I decline, he looks dejected. When friends and coworkers invite me to come out with them and I take a pass, they tell me that I look fine and they want to know the "real" reason why I don't want to join them.
So I am wondering what others here do to cope. I mean, it is so hard sometimes to get people to understand that this condition controls your whole life every single day. You would think that me appearing happy and keeping things light-hearted would mean that I was making things easier for the people in my life, but these days that does not seem to be the case.
Like you, I use humor to get through the day. As the saying goes, you gotta laugh or you're going to cry! It is ironic that the more we hurt, the more we joke...and everybody thinks we are ok. If anyone ever figures out a way to deal with that, let me know! As for now, I'll just keep smiling...and, unfortunately, hurting.
Kel
And, of coure, more humor!
For me, I have to plug on with my day. I do simple things like "massaging" the leg/arm that is bothering me most. I have found that "shaking out" my arms can help get rid of some of the "wigging" that occurs. I also have to let go. It's okay to go to bed earlier and lay there and read (let my body rest). It's okay to not do things. I am still working on that one. But I have started to ask about working from home a little more. Attempt to research to find places like this to find others who "get it."
Other than all of that, I am with you on the humor. That does make a difference. I do hide in my room when it gets really bad.....Hermit in the making. :)
I try to get monthly massages - that is the one thing I really do for me. She helps me get the knots out. It doesn't last long, but it seems to help.
I have also started doing a lot more crocheting. I love to read but have had issues with pain in my eye, so I don't do much of that anymore.
I hope you find what works best for you.
I try to take care of myself best I can with plenty of sleep (which is interrupted), eating right, getting the right medication combo,and then getting out to do the things that used to feed my soul.
I live alone so I don't have to worry about impressing anyone fortunately. Maybe you can explain that you use humor to deflect and take your mind off your pain and fatigue...a fake it attitude to get through the day. Explain a day in the life for them....like "have you eve gone into work sick and had to put on a smile so that your boss doesn't think your sick?" Soooo, I do that EVERY DAY. Not smug or condescending, but just as a way to explain it. I only tell those who are close to me, who I think are going to get it and "need some 'splaining to do Lucy!"
I have found that people sometimes actually get it when you refer back to something they went through but amplified.
But for me coping these days, yes, lots and lots of humor. Some times sad mystery stories to help me process something I'm feeling so i don't dream about it. Getting OUT and walking my dog, sitting in the sunshine, taking a scenic drive, going to church, anything that I find self soothing and can give me what I need. A very wise lymphatic masseuse from Sweden once said to me, "Listen to your body......then give it what it needs". That was after major surgery and I have never forgotten her words.
Listen to your body (mind & soul), and give it what it needs.