Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
Hi,I have a mother with fibro. She has had it for several years but only diagnosed about 2 years ago. My mom and I have always been close. I am 16 years old. I find it a bit annoying when she forgets something I have already told her once,twice or maybe three times. I know it isn't really her fault that she can't remember these things but I get tired of repeating myself. I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do to help her remember these things? Or maybe even someone that is going through this with one of their parents.Thanks!
It can be downright scary. Forgetting what someone has told you, or showing up at a doctor's appt on the wrong day, or leaving your keys in the fridge - these things are annoying but somewhat humurous. But if you turn on the stove and walk away and forget it...... you see what I mean.
Things I use are: a daily date book, binder with appts, calender, maps etc., a white erase board by the door, keep things organized and in the same place and try not to agitate her. Stress and lack of sleep make this illness worse.
Also, I hate to say this but this can be hereditary and you may be facing the same situation...be patient, loving and caring as you may need the same in return.
I basically became the adult. My parents divorced when I was 12, and my older sibling moved out by the time I was 16. So I tried my best to take care of my mom and my twin sister. I would remind her again and again and if she couldn't/forgot to do something, I would do it instead. Rather than talk about it or try to get help, I burdened myself. I lost a majority of my childhood this way, and I was diagnosed with FMS in the winter of 2008 (symptomatic for eight months before diagnosis).
I''m not saying this to scare you, just a warning. There were many other things going on besides her Fibro that contributed to my "caretaking" role at a young age. It's not until now (I'm 21) that I'm able to deal with my anger towards my mother for all of it. Before I couldn't let myself be angry because I knew it wasn't her fault. I wish I found an outlet for the anger and frustration back then, one that would have allowed me to deal with all those negative emotions without hurting my mother's feelings.
As for her memory, Post-its may be a good help, leaving reminders where your mom is likely to see them. If it's for an appointment or event, possibly program (or help her program) a phone to remind her X amounts of times before it comes around (A week before, a day before, an hour before, and 15 minutes before), so the burden of constantly reminding her doesn't fall on you.
Try to research methods that could work for the two of you. Has she gotten any suggestions from her doctor? And encourage your mother to seek advice and guidance and support for place outside of your family. A family is a wonderful start to a support network, but it shouldn't be the only place. And try to relax and breathe when you have to remind her for the 18th time to sign this paper or do this thing. She's your mother and loves you and she probably feels extremely guilty and upset that she can't remember all the time. It's not easy.
I'm sorry to hear you are growing up with this. I wish you the best of luck. If you have anymore questions about my experience, feel free to message me. ^_^
When my mother got sick with what was later named FM, we were simply scared of the unknown and wanting to help our beloved mother. However, most of us were grown (Mom had 9 kids) with kids of our own so it wasn't as difficult as it would have been if we'd all been home. Us older sisters would often fill in for our mother with the younger sibs, or with feeding our dad. (I lived across the street for awhile.)
Now, MY daughter has never known me without FM. She was nearly two when it got bad. She'll be 19 in two months. We do ok. I like to think it's because we discuss it a lot - always have - and ways to make ourselves healthier is part of that discussion. I wanted my kids to understand why I wasn't following through on stuff and not think I didn't like them, or something.
My 3 sons did ok for the most part, but boys can be pretty sloppy about things - including relationships. My daughter pays attention and it's gotten to the point where she'll ask me if I'm in pain when she notices that I'm starting to get uptight. Sometimes, premium times, she'll even step in, take over for me (dinner, laundry, animal/yard care) and make me sit down. I have 'tells' that she can recognize as warnings of a potential flare.
Her observations have led me to pursue my own set of tells - because I'm sick and tired of messing up and being tired all the time. Flares make that worse. Preventing them seems to be the easiest way to deal with flares. One can get back to their life faster with less pain that way.
Keeping a community notebook, and/or chalkboard, calendar, dry erase, etc... is a great way to keep what we need to remember out there to remind us. I think FM'ers support the Post-it company.
Your mom is so fortunate to have a daughter your age who's concerned about her and her illness - you have no idea. God bless you for being such a loving daughter.