Gentle hopes for soft days and easier times for you.

BTW, lived briefly in Ohio, and if the weather changes there are as I recall, it's about as much Fibro-fun as a smack in the butt, so don't forget to extra self-care as you can...

I too prefer quality of life to quantity of $. Not easy, given the world we live in, but it's a nice dream, y'know?

I'm glad you came here to rant. I've been right where you are, emotionally, many times. I've been hospitalized at least 15 times for depression and anxiety. You will have good days and bad. Just get through the bad ones one minute at a time.

As I've gotten older, it seems to be better for me. But I still have bad days, with anxiety. I am on meds and will be for the rest of my life. That's ok.

God is not punishing you. He loves you and will be with you. We become stronger through adversity, even though it's horrible to go through. I know you can make it.

Hey, breecee.....I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. It sounds like a lot of us have been through some rough times here lately, and it also sounds like depression has been making the rounds.

I certainly see or hear nothing to criticize you about. You've been going through a hard time. I know from experience what you need right now are some hugs, kind words, and prayers.

Does it help to know that I understand about the awfulness of depression and pain? If so, then I've got lots of understanding for you! Also, I'm all about praying, so you've got that, too. So keep coming here and talking. We are good listeners.

God bless you,
Elizabeth

I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time of it. I too get horribly depressed at time. It's hard living in pain day after day. I think of suicide at times, but have no intention of acting on it. I could never hurt my husband, kids, and grands that way. Do you attend church? Perhaps some counseling with a pastor would help. I recently saw my pastor and vented everything to her and I did feel better after. I want to work, but there is no way. I take oxy twice a day everyday so no one would want to risk hiring me. I am thinking of running a newspaper ad looking for a part time companion job to the elderly. With all my health problems and fatigue I'm really limited on what I can do or how many hours I can function. Know you are not alone and I'll be praying for you. This is a great place to vent and to get support.

You aren't being punished for anything. Although that is what we often think when we go through difficult times. You will get through this. You Are Stronger Than You Realize.

Sweetie we also have bad days. Try to remember there will be a better day. Don't give up. Hugs.

Hey Breecee,

I get it! I was just uttering some of the same things you had to share just yesterday myself.
It's hard, you get beaten down by the pain, you question what did you do to deserve this and bang your head trying to figure it all out.

The short answer here is, I too haven't figured it out. But what I have figured out is when I get beaten down like this, I just need to stop looking at the big picture and the gigantic one over the horizon and just focus on the moment. If I can successfully make it through one minute, and then the next and the following, then it's a success.

Minutes against the big picture seem so small. Yet when you're in the moment, they are a mini forever. And a successful forever sounds pretty good to me.

Expect the highs and lows. Allow yourself to experience them because w/out them the good just isn't good enough.

And speaking of enough. One of the hardest things to adjust to living with fibro is excepting that you are enough. When you loose sight of that it seems to spiral out of control quickly. Just keep telling yourself that you are enough. Ya, you Sweetie.

Then repeat that with every little thing you do. I did enough dishes, I did enough laundry, I worked enough, and because of all that you do you are loved more than enough to make it through.

Prayers to you hun!

Hi, breecee. I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough go of it right now. As you can see from the wonderful responses you've already gotten, many of us here really do get what you're saying and are dealing with many of the very same issues you are. I hope that maybe gives you even a tiny bit of comfort and helps show you that you're not a complete oddity?

I've been hospitalized multiple times in the past for being suicidal (which included attempts). Definitely not a fun experience. And, it's always been pretty scary when I've been released, as I know I'm going right back to the very same life that sent me there in the first place. There's a really uncomfortable transitional phase when you're trying to get your bearings and find your place back out in the "real" world, again. I hope you are keeping on top of your post-hospitalization care and appointments, and are being open and honest about your ongoing feelings and everything. It's really important.

I'm really glad you have some support from family and friends. I'm sorry they're getting on your nerves and saying the "wrong" things right now. It's tough. But, I'm confident they just care about you so much and are scared for your safety and happiness and want the very best for you. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, but, is there any chance you could have a therapy session or two with any of them? To give you all a safe and structured place to discuss some of what you've been going through and how you're feeling about it all? Just a thought.

I'm also sorry to hear that you're having to work so hard and long, especially with all of the physical and emotional pain you're dealing with. I don't know how you're doing it, but, kudos to you. Just goes to show what a truly strong and courageous person you are.

It's so beautiful that you're so focused and concerned about others, and their feelings, wellbeing, and everything. But, honestly? For at least right now? It's really important to focus on you. Yourself. And your feelings, wellbeing, and everything. You deserve health and happiness and good things. It may take a lot of hard work, but I hope you're able to inch your way closer and closer to all of that, and that things get much easier and better for you.

I hope today is better than yesterday was, and that tomorrow will be even greater. Please come back and vent some more, if it helps to relieve some of the pressure. You're in my thoughts, and I'm sending lots of hugs your way.