I'm not married, but I have seen from the posts on here that it is very hard to have a relationship with Fibro because it limits us on what activities we can do. That being said, he knew about your condition beforehand and even read the book, so he should have known what he was getting into. I'm saying that to help relieve your mind that it's not like this is something you kept from him so you shouldn't feel anxious because of what you think he is thinking. I think you two should have good communication and talk about what's going on instead of being upset about something that may not even be going on. I hope this helps.

Susan

Susan, thank you so much for your post. Sometimes I get "Monkeys In My Head", playing with my thoughts and emotions. You are right - he knew ahead of time and we check in with each other daily or every other day to see how we are doing. It's me that goes to the place of not being adequate or enough. I was desperate for words from someone who understands and I thank you so much for your response.

I've had fibro for quite a while even before I knew what was actually going on with my body. The sciatica and leg numbness is new for me and it's unfamiliar. I think I'm used to the fibro but having something new caught me off guard.

If you don't mind me asking - have you had fibro for a long time ?

Again, thank you for giving me a little more peace today.

Blessings to you, PJ

I have been married for 20 years (this Aug) and have been sick with one thing or another for about 9 years. My husband went through it all and was fairly supportive. However, I understand the feeling of being a burden. I think that is only natural when you aren't contributing equally. But, thankfully he read the book and knows what to expect. I would have a conversation with him (I always wrote letters) and tell him how you feel. That may cause a little less anxiety.

Take care.

Aloha.

I'm only hearing your side of the story so I don't really know if he actually feels that way about you. Have you ever asked him if he feels you're a burden or if he feels resentful of your fibro?

I've had fibro for about 13 or + years and have been married going on 4 years. My husband actually does gripe about the inconveniences he has to go through when my pain flares, for example when we're in the middle of an event and I ask him to take me home (due to pain). And it often leads to arguments. So I do know for a fact my fibro is a source of friction in our marriage and he does resent it.

When you start feeling negative things in your head, for example guilty feelings about something and you are wondering if it's true, here's what you do. Make a list of evidence to back it up. Then make a list of evidence that argues against it (or proves it is false). If you were to take your arguments to a pretend court, which one would win?

Hope this helps.

I'm glad I could help. I'm not in a relationship because I know I don't have the energy for it and I like doing whatever I want or whatever I don't want to do. I've had Fibro for a long time. I was diagnosed around 2002 but I'd had it for about 8 years before that, I just didn't know what was wrong with me. I've had all kinds of lower back issues too and have had leg numbness. It seems to be never ending.

Susan

Fully understand, dear! Have you sat down with your loving husband and told him how you are feeling right now? He is your best lifeline. Let him know so he understands why you seem a little difficult or just different. Believe me he can feel that something is not right or the same and he can have all kind of answers going on in his head and they could all be missing the target. Honest Communication is so important for both of you, is so important. Tell him if you have troubles telling him or to be honest, about being or becoming a burden even though he has done nothing to make you feel this way, it's a symptom of Fibromyalgia and any chronic diseases. I bet he will understand and if it is hard at first, doing this as regularly as you do eating, eventually both of you will have grown so much in so many more areas. Honesty is hard but it's the spice that makes an ordinary dish a gourmet.

I be happy to be your tree to lean on until you can lean on your love completely, and beyond. Take all the hugs you need. Hug, Hug, Hug, ....

You've gotten great replies! I love what sassy wrote. From someone who's been married a long time (43 years on September 1), I can tell you open communication is not only one of the toughest things to do, but also the most helpful in strengthening your relationship.

I'm bad about imagining things in my head only to find out I was totally wrong. So I wholeheartedly agree you ought to sit down and let him know what you're feeling. And btw, your feelings are your feelings, and hopefully he won't discount them. Believe me, I know about that one!

I totally understand how you're feeling. I think we all feel that way from time to time....it's completely natural. Our lives have been turned upside down, and we are struggling everyday just to get through the day. It might make it easier for you to write your feelings out in a letter to him. I find I do much better expressing my feelings that way.

Prayers for you, and keep us posted.