i agree with u i dont post much on here has i dont want to get slammed we have the exact same problem on the m.s board i dont post much there either on both boards i answer very few but rarly what i really want to say its bad enough being ill all the time then to come to a support board and get stress is horrid a great post!!! dixe4

Ignore it. I'm not where the other person is. I don't know their heart or mind. We all move toward our higher selves at different rates. I ignore it. Don't engage. Don't open the message. Don't push the "Reply" button. Don't push the "Add" button. Just don't do it.

I try to say and do in a loving manner...it is hard because some times we take things the wrong way or we get too emotional with the fibro...If I dont have anything nice to say than I wont say it...we are all here for support not to be put down or get hurt...and it is unfortunate that some times it tears up on the group...our focus here is fibromyalgia, but some times the topic goes else where and then minds go else where...thanks for the posting and I hope people are honest...we are people of different believes, different life styles, different dispositions...at times some one is going to hurt or offened...you cant help that...but what we can do is do our best to respect one another and dont let things elevate in the group...hugs

Even though we all try to get along and help each other with our own experiences and beliefs, we're not going to say or please everyone. It's impossible to please everyone and you shouldn't even try. You can say what you feel as long as it is done in a constructive and helpful manner. But avoid those that become confrontational because of something that you commented on. Some people have to feel like they're in total control of everything. Not so. We all have the right to voice our opinions here and anywhere. But we have to do it in a manner which is considerate and thoughtful. In a highly charged environment as this one, it can easily be misunderstood by anyone at anytime. But some thrive on drama. Just be yourself at all times. Don't change who you are to try and please others. We are unique in our personalities and beliefs but we're all the same also. We're all battling an illness that tests our very core of who and what we are. Love and Hugs, Debbie

I have noticed that some people like being the devils advocate by nature. Not sure why ... but we can learn from them and then ignore all the other stuff. Hehe win win

hugs pink

i ignore what i want or think is gonna be an awful thing.. i try not let what other people say have to much of an effect on me , they could be having an off day or just in a funk.. i try to put my anger if i have it in my journal or elsewhere.. **hugs**

I have decided to just skip over posts from people I have had disagreements with. That way I don't even have to read what nonsense they sometimes have to say. Makes me feel more in power if I don't answer them, thus engaging them and getting WW3 going. ;)

Now..if they post their negativity or downright nastiness to someone, I may be onclined to voice my OPINION.

I try to think before I post anything. And not everything is fibro.. we all can exchange ideas on this or that.. and support who ever is down, or in pain.. etc.. if i dont know anything about the post, i try to at least wish them the best and hope they can be helped with someone who knows that question.. I see alot of positve posts on here. OT is nice too. give us a break from serious pain.. :)

You know, I hear what you're saying. It is just a totally frustrating situation. I am pretty neutral here and find a lot to like on both sides of this ugly fence

It takes two. Sometimes the posts are subtle and sometimes not so subtle. But I can always feel the undercurrent of dislike and challenge in the words.

I feel too sick today to give a rats behind anymore.

I love all of you and treasure the times on this board.

I believe everyone has their own feelings. That there are no right or wrong feelings. Whatever they are, they are yours. Our perceptions are our reality. I like to try and celebrate the diversity here and accept others are entitled to their feelings as well as me. However, we are all human beings and need to be treated with respect. We all have the common thread of this illness. This should bring us closer together as a community. I can't change what someone says but I can change how I chose to react to it. I love this community and it has helped me so much. Just being able to be in the same company as others that hurt the same as me makes be feel like I am not alone, that I am part of something with all folks here.
That is very powerful in my opinion and I believe we can all come together and hopefully advocate, support and love one another. Thats my 2 cents, I enjoyed your post dixie. If u r reading this, thank you for taking the time to listen to what I think. ValV

I like what was said about the diversity in this fibro group. Before I came to DS, I had never even talked with someone from the UK let alone had the priviledge to get to know them, their culture, their various view points & beliefs & their personal life history. Knowing & having friends from all over the world is really an eye opener & a pleasure.

Conflicts & disagreements seem to arise from lack of respect for each individual, lack of communicating effectively which causes misunderstandings & possibly by plain old personality conflicts.

I really don't care for disagreements; that eat up my emotional energy quickly. However, I will stand up for what I feel & think & post; especially when I believe someone is just trying to play games with me, by disagreeing with me, in hopes of starting a conflict.

I think we've already been informed by DS to take our serious disagreements to them so they can handle it.

The sign of the times... that is not face to face, but computer to computer, words to words, where people feel much freer to say whatever they want to say. There is little risk really. No one sees anyone else, some like to play games with words, and some say things that they would never say in person. We must be discerning in this regard. I don't think it's so much a "freedom of speech" issue, but it's a relatively risk free since the person who is posting is not seen, nor really even "heard" for that matter. Kind of similar to the fact that people react in groups much differently than individually. They do and say things they would never say independent of the group. Well, in this case, email. People can get away with saying whatever they feel, at what cost..none really. They can hide behind their computer in their in their home, where no one knows where they live. It's much more likely that someone will be much more bold and say whatever comes to their mind when it's in an email form. Obviously, that isn't a brave thing, but like I said, pretty much risk free... so some think why not? Discern discern, so as to not spend any emotional energy even responding to situations or people like that. Usually, that is what those particular people are looking for. Those that will respond, or engage with them.

hi,
i agree with all of you, there are various points you brought up, a lot of it really made me think, we do learn from people every day, (i love admitting and telling people when i have learned something from them, not everyone does that)

anyway, there was a post, i would have to go back i cant recall the who wrote it, but we all have the right, and should have the right to express how we feel.

we are mature adults, and we are not little kids that have to be disciplined for what we say,

besides, what IS wrong with a little bantring back and forth? it may not be intended as harsh as it appear,

now that brings me to the post of, we are in a time of computers,
so true,
emails, posts, does not convey the tone !!!
one has to remember to make smiley faces all the time just so the other "gets it"

that is unfair, it is not necessairly a "dig" against someone, rather an opinion,

and if we are so fragile here that we cannot state and opninion there is something very very wrong, then it is no longer a friendship community,

another good post, "i am not where they are"
so well said, and so true.

why do we have to make excuses for ourselves? and why can we not be open, honest and explain/tell someone, or post how we feel about a subject.

we must use repspect for another person at all times, that goes without saying, but that is it as far a censorship should go here.

I find it frustrating now, with the caution messages i have received, to tread lightly, (i do appreiate the messages ) :)

but to walk on eggshells because someone here is power tripping or will take offense too easily is just not right.

i have already said it, but i would like to repeat it, we are adults, and we have the right to voice our opinion without fear of possible consequences.

i could understand it if we were monitored for specific use of language and Admin came down on us for it, that i understand.

but who is monitoring this and who is it we must fear here?

NO ONE
we should show respect, and understand that each of us have an opinion. let us have that much.

i cannot post with the thought of stepping on toes every time and i will not, i try to be cautious, on the other hand, i do say what i believe in.

again, my opinion :)
again you all made sense and it was well written,

Huggz :)
to you all..

After 9months of being on DS and reading the posts I have got to learn who to avoid. I have just seen something on another thread that I think is downright wicked but I have refrained from posting a response because it would be negative, and I really think that if nobody responded to horrible posts that would be a louder message than answering angrily.

It is difficult not to respond to a post when just by stating your opinion you get attacked. It always happens on a weekend. It is always brought to the forefront by 2-3 people that are just waiting to attack. Why is there a need to even be two sides on here? We are all here for the same reason but some of our opinions are attacked no matter what we say. Yes we should ignore them and not give them the power they desire so much but its damn hard when you are being slammed every weekend on this board by the same people. marilyn