Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
Why is it that it seems life conspires to beat the crap out of people with FM? I do not suffer from it but my wife does ... and yesterday was THE worst day I have seen her experience in teh 3-1/2 years I have known her.
She has been trying to find some type of medication to help with the pain but has not had any luck. The anti-depressants make her feel suicidal so she is very reluctant to try any more of them. She is hyper sensitive to medications and typically experiences most, if not all, of the side effects of the medication. She is weaning off of trazadone right now and that is giving her crushing headaches and making her feel ill.
She has a lot of stress right now - which only magnifies FM symptoms. Everything from work to home life is causing stress (difficult co-workers, planning work parties, general office stress, family re-unions, teenage children being stubborn, disobedient and generally not thinking of anyone but themselves, summer colds, not to mention depression, lack of libido, chills, night sweats, etc).. I am experiencing the same stress as well. She is just starting her menstrual cycle and her irritablity and pain of FM goes up at that time of the month ... so much so that simply touching her arm is enough to drive her up the wall. Add to that the Full Moon last night and it was not a good night. Her pain was creating all sorts of bad thoughts in her mind and wanting to just be done with everything to escape the pain and was asking me to help her do it. If felt as though somone had reached inside my chest and started squeezing my heart ... sorrow, pain, fear, empathy for her situation, just crushed through me and reduced me to tears.
Any suggestions on how to cope with the pain without anti-depressants and pain pills? Does Lyrica work for anyone here?
She has been trying to find some type of medication to help with the pain but has not had any luck. The anti-depressants make her feel suicidal so she is very reluctant to try any more of them. She is hyper sensitive to medications and typically experiences most, if not all, of the side effects of the medication. She is weaning off of trazadone right now and that is giving her crushing headaches and making her feel ill.
She has a lot of stress right now - which only magnifies FM symptoms. Everything from work to home life is causing stress (difficult co-workers, planning work parties, general office stress, family re-unions, teenage children being stubborn, disobedient and generally not thinking of anyone but themselves, summer colds, not to mention depression, lack of libido, chills, night sweats, etc).. I am experiencing the same stress as well. She is just starting her menstrual cycle and her irritablity and pain of FM goes up at that time of the month ... so much so that simply touching her arm is enough to drive her up the wall. Add to that the Full Moon last night and it was not a good night. Her pain was creating all sorts of bad thoughts in her mind and wanting to just be done with everything to escape the pain and was asking me to help her do it. If felt as though somone had reached inside my chest and started squeezing my heart ... sorrow, pain, fear, empathy for her situation, just crushed through me and reduced me to tears.
Any suggestions on how to cope with the pain without anti-depressants and pain pills? Does Lyrica work for anyone here?
Also, I wonder if she maybe needs to try "talk therapy". My psycholigist only works with folks who face chronic or terminal illness. Her input in my life literally has kept me from losing my mind. Some people might resist this or think it silly. But, I'm here to say, if she's that depressed that she's asking you for that kind of help, she needs some kind of treatment. If an antidepressant isn't ideal for her, at least find a therapist who can help her cope.
I am coming down off Lyrica. It didn't help me. I take Wellbutriin for depression, which I love, and Elavil for sleep. Thats all. No pain meds. We all react to these meds so incredibly differently, its crazy. Even one antidepressant I took several years ago when I first got sick, when I went back on it last January, it turned me into a zombie. It just didn't work the same the second time around. Maybe it was interacting with another med, maybe my system was so different, who knows?? But, it might take a few trys to find what works, just help her hang in there. I know what its like to have a severely depressed spouse, as mine battles this too. Help her understand that by its nature, fibromyalgia is changeable. Even if shes been in a flare for a year, theres nothing to suggest that she might not spontaneously come out of it tomorrow. Things can be better. She is contemplating a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Help her see that.
Also, 1000 mg of flaxseed oil helps with the menstrual stuff. Get her some of that. I take it only during the last 14 days of my cycle, but she could take it daily, lots of folks do.
Finally, I'd say that for me, exercise has been key. Keep moving. Not moving actually makes my pain feel worse, and depressses me more, etc.
She needs to find ways to de-stress that life she lives. She's gotta ask for help at work. Those teenagers need to be read the riot act, (I'm willing if you need me to). Stuff like family reunions, while nice, actually add to how horrible she feels. She's gotta cut some of that out to feel some relief, I think.
Glad you found us. There are some very kind, and very wise folks here. Hoping to meet her soon... :)
I agree that talk therapy would probably help her out. I know that when I was depressed after my divorce, the therapy worked for me. I was also able to take an anti-depressant (after 3 different anti-depressants did NOT help me). Of course, I don't have FM so my body reacts completely differently than those with FM.
People recommend the vitamins and supplements all the time. She takes about 12 different vitamin or supplemant pills each day.
Do most people with FM suffer from being cold all the time? The only time she isn't cold is when we're outside and it is really hot. She keeps a personal space heater on all the time at her office.
I've talked to her about getting the regualr exercise thing going. She used to dance, play volleyball, and do water aerobics on a regular basis but after we got married that stopped. The dancing and volleyball were with other single people and now there are children to take care of at home so free time is less available. I guess I will just have to tell the kids that they will have to let mom have some personal time. I know that she'd likely do more of it if I was able to do it with her.
Also, it sounds like she's taking a LOT of supplements. Docs need to know about them, especially before they prescribe something. Make sure she discloses everything she takes.
Are you not able to exercise with her? If not, she could always do stuff from home, aerobic DVD, Wii Fit, etc. When I started my new exercise program in early June, I jogged in place indoors on carpet holding onto a couch and the wall. Have her build slow.
Teenagers can do their own laundry, can clean their own mess, can learn to fix food, etc. And they should. The brunt should not fall on this woman who faces living in pain. Fibromyalgia affects the whole family, like many illnesses. They've simply gotta pitch in and let her just go for a walk.
I get the kids to pitch in with this stuff ... but usually I do a lot of it myself. I know that she is dealing with a lot of pain ALL of the time so I have no problem cleaning, doing laundry, etc. I agree that teenagers can do this stuff on their own and we have them doing their own laundry and they clean up too. However, they are teenagers and tend to be lazy, sleep a lot, and are far more interested in doing ANYTHING other than something at home LOL.
She has been suffereing from a lot of pain in her feet over the past several months and walks seems to be more of a problem. She loves hot baths so I want to find a place that does water aerobics in a nice, warm pool. Less impact on the joints and soothing warm water on everything else.
Social support, including DS, pain psychologists, massage therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors, rolfers and other healers can help with fibro.
Yoga and meditation help. Removing stressful people and solutions from one's life is mandatory.
Keep exercising gently but regularly! That would be my advice to your wife. Perhaps walking is all she can do or exercising in a warm arthritis pool is easy on the body.
Watch your diet carefully, avoiding inflaming foods like refined sugars and simple carbs. Some people can't do "nightshade" veggies either.
Nutritional supplements work well for many of us. I take magnesium malate, vit D, and flax oil + a liquid multi.