Ouch! I understand and I think everyone in this group also understands. So, first know that you are not alone. Second, know that you will find what works for you to feel better and get more energy. Been there, done that. Faith and persistence. With more time and work at it your family will also understand better what you are going through. Show them by your attitude that you know that they will come to understand and that you know that they will be supportive. Our expectations for others contributes to how they treat us. Be clear in your expectations, "I know that I can count on you to..."

Praise, praise, praise any and all support and understanding. Even if the person did not do it with your condition in mind, thank them for it as though they had. Reinforcement increases the frequency of events. Find ways of your family members, even the 5 year old, how much you appreciate the things they do for you.

Don't feel guilty. It's a waste of time and energy. You need both and you didn't get fibro on purpose. It's not your fault.

Find material to read or watch in You Tube that describes fibro and read/ watch it together with your husband and older children.

An action plan for how everyone in the family is going to contribute to family functioning now that you can't do as much could really help. A few sessions with a good family counselor might be a really good idea.

Check into your diet to see how it might be improved. Check your vitamin levels. I wouldn't be surprised if you are low on B12 or D. Take sublingual B12 just in case. But for D you might want to wait for test results because it is a fat soluble vitamin and you don't want too much of it in your body. Take a multi-vitamin anyway.

I am trying low dose naltrexone to see if it improves my energy, immune system. Again, you will find things that will help. Are you exercising? Even people who are in pain should exercise, and since you are not in pain, exercise seems a must. I know, the last thing you want to hear is one more thing to do, but give yourself 15 minutes at lunchtime for a walk.

Stressful job? Put your job stress in perspective. Now that we know how important health is, I can let many work stresses just slide off .

No pain? You are already so far ahead of the game. I am cheering for you!

Emily has given you a lot of great insite.
I would like to second her suggestions.
Your diet is of utmost importance, see if you can get into see a nutritionist & get some pointers. Drop the processed foods, sugars, caffine, junk food.
Learn how to relax! Destress! Try meditation or yoga or Qi gong. These are a must. Mindfulness has been very helpful for me.

I was in your place 15 years ago & just kept pushing myself. Now I can not work more than 12 hrs a week, when I can handle it at all. If I could go back, I would learn to make my health a prority, find ways to slow down & enjoy my children. I put my work first, my work had no problem dumpping me when I ran into difficulties. Now I'm broke & they have replaced me. Think about it. You need to take care of you.

I feel like I'm rambling, I just wish I could find the words to reach you before it is to late.

{{{HUGZ}}. Good luck

Wantstobe,

My advice would be to crawl into bed in the fetal position at 8:30 pm.

You're carrying a load on your shoulders and my heart goes out to you.
My 4 daughters were grown and out of the house when fibro took over my life, so I can't even imagine how you are coping having a 3 children at home and one a 5 year old.

Sending you peace, gentle hugs and good energy.

there is not a thing wrong with catching a nap whenever you have time or going to bed at 8 or whenever you feel exhausted. i used to feel guilty about taking naps. no longer! i realize you have children so it isn't always possible but perhaps your husband should educate himself because your illness is probably not going to go away. does he go to your doctor appointments? maybe he should and ask questions of his own. he may gain some understanding and sympathy for what you are going through and give you a break! just because you look fine on the outside does not mean everything is fine. it would be nice if everyone realized this. peace and love, idarose

You have received some great advice. There are only a couple things I would add. I am like you and my family depends on my income, so working is a must. IF you can walk at lunch even for just 15 mins. that helps with the fatigue believe it or not that way you don't have to find any extra family time to exercise. If you are so exhausted you can't walk go to your car set your cell phone alarm and take a nap. Some days that is the only way I get through. I go to bed at 8:30 every-night.
Second I would suggest having you and your husband reading Fibromyalgia for dummies. This helped my father understand what I am going through. Stay connected to support groups like this one
Take care of yourself

My children were young when I first became ill. I am so thankful they are now adults. As much as I know that we as Moms think we can do it all, "super Mom", we can't if we want to take care of our health. Focus on what things are really important for you. Take breaks, take naps, and take care of yourself. We are not the energizer bunny that can go, go, go....Isn't it more important that your little 5 year old knows you love her. Please take care of yourself. Don't push. I am also wondering, since you had the mono and the extreme fatigue, have you seen a Dr about CFS? Something to keep in mind.

Welcome to the club Emily! You have received a lot of great advice and the only thing I could add to it is this...Give your kids chores to do that would help you out. If you already do this, that's great! I have made a calendar that shows what needs done and on what day. The only thing I do that I refuse to let others do are the dishes. I don't have a dish washer, so I try to do them every morning after my daughter gets on the bus.

Being exhausted by 8:30 is normal when you are holding everything on your shoulders. Have your husband learn how to give a massage, that will help you physically and mentally and help him be closer to you emotionally, which is what he is afraid he's going to loose.

Fibromyalgia For Dummies is an excellent book! Highly recommend getting it and sharing it with your friends and family. It will help them understand when you have flares that you can't just go, go, go. You are not an awful Mom but you can't be Super Mom anymore either. That has been the toughest lesson for me to learn. The good news is, you are early in your diagnosis, Savella is a wonder drug, I'm on it too. Your family will learn to adapt to you and what you can and can't do as you go along. Put your foot down and say "STOP" when you need to.

Warm Hugs,
Nancy