When and how did this start?
What was happening in your life at the time?
Are you on any medication?

I felt the same way.I didn't have sex with my H for over a year and he wound up cheating on me.Instead of talking to me he screwed the first whore that showed interest.
I think everyone loses the sex drive every now and then but I have heard from many woman that it is our job as wives to have sex with our husbands lol

I believe my husband and I are on our 3rd year of no intimacy. Not only was there a lack of interest, but a hostility and resentment on my part. The mere thought that he would try to touch me beyond a hug was appalling. In working through my past issues in other areas, I realized that around the last few times we did anything together, there were some major triggers of past abuses through what and how he did certain things. It explained a lot of the hositlity I felt and still feel. He is also one who has the "you're my wife so you have to" mentality. This morning, in fact he bumped me in a way that triggered the hostility again and responded with "I own that, I can touch it if I want." He's not doing a lot to improve the situation, especially since we have talked about it and I explained what happened.

The main protagonist in my newly-published novel 'White Cranes Dancing' hasn't had good sex, ever. She seizes up at the thought of it (and this is her main problem - she's too much in her head). I'd be very interested to hear what forum users think of it. It's available via Amazon.

I am in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I have been living together for 5 years and I have a very low libido. I feel like having sex about once every 3 months. I know he loves me unconditionally but would like to have more sex and I don't blame him. I was raped when I was 15 and my father was extremely neglectful and sexually inappropriate with me. I am in counseling and am on Celexa for anxiety. I was interested in sex when we first got together. I am not sure if this is from the medication, my past, or because I am not as into him as I once was. I love him to death but am not sure if I am in love with him. He is the sweetest guy ever and guys in my past were abusive. It always seems like I lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for awhile. We have sex about once every week but I feel like his needs are not being met. He would like to have sex every other day or so. I wish I were interested in sex. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance.

You may have a block from childhood. Go see a terapist. =)

see a doctor i had that happen to me and it turned out i had some major health issues

I've seen drs, there is nothing physically wrong. And regardless of libido...sex should never be a job or obligation...married or not

My wife is the love of my life. We used to have sex almost everyday. I love my wife unconditionally, and she knows it. Then in 99 she told me she had no desire to have sex. At first I thought this would pass in a week. She said she wants to want to have sex but has no interest in intimacy what so ever. After about a year she told me she did not want me to touch her or think of her sexually. She still wants us to kiss and hold hands, but nothing else. We would go about a year, have sex a few times, and then another year. Around 2006 we had sex 3 times in one week, and then we stopped again. she got Breast cancer in 2007 and was told she would die within the year. She had 4 surgery's and 2 yrs of chemo and radiation, but she has been cancer free for 4 yrs. The doctor butchered her breast, and she now says that is why she does not want me to touch them. We have had sex a few times in the last 4 yrs, but it is difficult to make love to a woman, when you can not touch her. She is now trying to find pills that will give her her sex drive back. The sex we have now is just a shell of what we used to do, but she says she enjoys it and wants us to have sex more often, but then she always says she does not want to. I like large breast, I like my wife's breast, but I fear I will never have the chance to have her breast in my hands again.

Some very interesting posts. To the moron who is trying to sell a book, this isn't the place for it.

I think that we can all agree that men and women see sex differently. In fact we see most things differently. But know that your particular problem is one that more and more women are experiencing and have since the beginning of time. Whenever there are some emotional issues in a marriage they can have an affect upon a woman's sex drive. It can be even tougher if she feels like her needs are not being met which is usually the case.

I have been married for 20 yrs now. My wife was married before for 11 years and experienced a great deal of pain in her last marriage. I was 35 when we tied the knot and this is my first. She had two children from her first husband. Things were fantastic at first. She would initiate sex just as often as I did and it was great. Then we started having issues with her two brats. They both told us years later that they had made a pact to create enough strife between my wife and I in the hope that we would divorce so that mom and dad would get back together again. Well we had two children of our own and things were great for awhile then it started going downhill. My needs were being met and she felt that I was meeting her needs either. Counseling did no good and for a year we had sex twice. She had no desire and I felt rejection. After threats, more counseling and just plain giving in she agreed to sex once a week.
Then two years ago I caught her sexting to a young man half her age with me laying in bed right next to her. I was livid, hurt and wanted nothing to do with her. I approached the young man and put a stop to it but realized that something had to be done or we were headed for a divorce. That is when a friend of mine introduced me to a book entitled "The Five Languages of Love" by Dr. Gary Chapman. I didn't want to read another "How to" book but I had nothing to lose other than my marriage. So I went online to "thefivelovelanguages.com" and took the love language quiz. I then ordered a copy of the book and my wife agreed to read it as well. It was then that we discovered that we were not speaking each other's love language. Here is a brief synopsis of the book.
1. Acts of Service. Those with this love language say "I love you" by doing things for their spouse/partner. Like washing her car, preparing his favorite meal, massaging the feet, etc. This happens to be my wife's love language and I was only doing these things once in a great while. Its no wonder that she felt like I didn't love her.
2. Physical Touch. Cuddling, holding hands, sex, running fingers through the hair are just some of the ways to express love for these individuals. This one happens to be my love language and my wife never did any of these things. As a result I didn't feel loved.
3. Acts of Giving. Buying gifts, writing little notes, a cup of coffee, etc.
4. Words of Affirmation. "Oh honey, you look really good today." "Honey I appreciate you doing that for me." Just some examples of how this love language is spoken.
5. Quality Time. Spending time just watching TV together or going on walks. Simply spending time with each other.

When we discovered each other's love language a whole new world opened up for us! We both got on the same page and it has been dramatic. We still make the occasional error of trying to show each other love by using our love language but we recognize it for what it is and move on. And the SEX is FANTASTIC!!! She no longer just lays there letting me do all of the work. We both feel love and make sure that we are expressing it more often too. I hope that this will help you in finding your way back into a love filled relationship with your spouse or partner. Everyone deserves to be loved and happy. I would be very interested in your results from those of you who decide to look into this.

i am a lesbian my wife of 8 years has recently told me that she has lost her interest in sex and if she never has sex again in her life she would be ok with that. She has recently entered perimenopause. I am begging her to go to the doctor to address what is a hormonal imbalance. Not only has she lost interest in sex, she has gained alot of weight and is now claustrophobic to the extent that she cannot get into elevators, can't shop in malls, etc. If one the loss of interest in sex was not accompanied by these other symptoms i would be completely hopeless. We had very active sex life prior. And on top of it she will not talk about any of it. It hurts a great deal

I have found that there are no real rules any where. All science "laws" can be violated. The top center area of the brain is the lead sex stimulated area providing feedback stimulus of the sex organs. These areas grow and develop as the body grows. Any of these cell structures can have poor growth as well as any body parts. The mother provides DNA to the fetus. Parts of the DNA can be greater from one generation to another. Possibly good hypnosis and studying about sexual activity, using a mirror and stimulating your self and viewing good porn can get your nerves to function better. If grandmother and mother and many others when you were very young may have shaped your thoughts that a female wanting sex was nasty. The human female "only" is the sex machine and not the male. She can have several types or orgasms and many in a row and whenever she wants!!! A sexual female can control any male "or more" by how she sexually reacts herself and with her male. I have never known any female that did not want to have a lot of sex except those whose brains had been verbally abused. It is like a mother calling her young pre-teen son a "son-of-bitch. What will he think of females when he is in high school?

I don't know. I don't think sex is much different than anything else....like an organ it can atrophy over time....or you can just lose interest. I think the "taboo" is that it's ok to lose interest. Sex is not necessarily a function for every persons life. I know that if roles were reversed and my husband was unable to perform, I would not leave or berate him for it. But what's also interesting is from a societal stand point, if my husband had the issue, I would be expected to not leave him. It's not the same for women. I'm not a prude, but porn isn't for me.

The human female is a sex machine. They were designed to reproduce and can have multiple orgasms meaning that she can be available to multiple males at any time of sexual activity. History proves that a person and a entire cultural group can be caused to form certain beliefs that creates or destroys. The human nerves and chemical hormones make the human function. Most animals perform sexually at a specific time only for reproduction, a mechanical function.
There is no mental and physical foreplay. No sex organ contact. no visual pleasure. There is no human type of emotional feelings. A male or female without sex drive needs to "GET" good sexual problem help. It seems there is a history of one nonperforming partner, having good sex with other person. I had female friends that I did not have a real desire to have sex with although time and place was available. I was not sexually crippled by my boyhood years when sex was a no-no topic. The word pregnant was not to be said in "polite" company. Condoms could be bought from machines in toilets at gas stations with no one seeing the age of the buyer. If good sex does not happen something is wrong. The partner or body or brain.

I don't understand your reasoning behind why. Why do I need to get a sex drive? My organs are healthy, I have reproduced, I have been multi-orgasmic, but that no way infers I'm "ready" for multiple men.. Human females are not "sex machines" My body and mind are fine, lack of desire is not a life sentence or a death sentence. Your thoughts actually contribute to stress that would make me avoid sex. There is a reason we are human and not animal