Female Sexual Issues Support Group
Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...
ok,
so im a guy. im having some trouble with my girlfriend an sex. im sure im not the first guy to say that!
she is very rarely in the mood for sex. the relationship has always been long distance. i met her at the end of a semester in university and since its been long distance becuase she was on exchange from somewhere else.
the romance has always been high in the relationship and at first the sex was happening and she was keen. at the time i was having some sexual dyfunction issues so i'll admit the sex was not mind blowing.
she was nice and said it didn't matter because she was in love. gradually the sex did get better, and over the summer we saw each other more and more.
then she started in a new course in university and was in a whole new group of people and i noticed when we met up occasionally at weekends she seemed more distant physically.
she said i was imagining it, i wasn't
finally after about 2 months of this (we probably met 3 times for weekends) she admited that she was being physically cold. i got worried that she was cheating. she said that it always been like that for that she is afraid of sex sometimes. she told me her last boyfriend was really pushy for sex.
since then and over christmas its been the same. other problems have occured in the relationship but we are still in love.
but the sex is not going anywhrere because i don't feel she lets it go anywhere.
its come to the point where i am sexually frustrated around her and i feel i am just asking for sex. and its getting. i know i make her feel like its just sex. but i tell her i love her loads, and i mena it, and not just for sex. i always tell her shes beautiful. but she just is physically cold, even before i asked for sex. she kisses and everything, but when it starts to feel like there might be sex she just cools it down.
im becoming soooo sexually frustrated its not even funny.
anyway, replies would be appreciated about why she would be like that.
please ask questions if i have not provided enough information.
so im a guy. im having some trouble with my girlfriend an sex. im sure im not the first guy to say that!
she is very rarely in the mood for sex. the relationship has always been long distance. i met her at the end of a semester in university and since its been long distance becuase she was on exchange from somewhere else.
the romance has always been high in the relationship and at first the sex was happening and she was keen. at the time i was having some sexual dyfunction issues so i'll admit the sex was not mind blowing.
she was nice and said it didn't matter because she was in love. gradually the sex did get better, and over the summer we saw each other more and more.
then she started in a new course in university and was in a whole new group of people and i noticed when we met up occasionally at weekends she seemed more distant physically.
she said i was imagining it, i wasn't
finally after about 2 months of this (we probably met 3 times for weekends) she admited that she was being physically cold. i got worried that she was cheating. she said that it always been like that for that she is afraid of sex sometimes. she told me her last boyfriend was really pushy for sex.
since then and over christmas its been the same. other problems have occured in the relationship but we are still in love.
but the sex is not going anywhrere because i don't feel she lets it go anywhere.
its come to the point where i am sexually frustrated around her and i feel i am just asking for sex. and its getting. i know i make her feel like its just sex. but i tell her i love her loads, and i mena it, and not just for sex. i always tell her shes beautiful. but she just is physically cold, even before i asked for sex. she kisses and everything, but when it starts to feel like there might be sex she just cools it down.
im becoming soooo sexually frustrated its not even funny.
anyway, replies would be appreciated about why she would be like that.
please ask questions if i have not provided enough information.
I am sure it frustrates your girlfriend too, it is not that I do not want to be sexual, I just am not and it is always forced and "just get it over with" which is not fair to either person.
The kissing and foreplay is great and extremely desired, but the actual "sex" is not interesting... HSDD to a "T".
There are treatments :)
Good luck!
she does come froma muslim backround but her parents aren't strict muslim and she has never practiced the faith at all.
sometimes i feel as if i am in the wrong trying to initiate sex and its puts her off.
then sometimes i just think she is not attracted to me and only enjoys the friendship and intimacy we have. which leads me to think that she gains sexual satifaction elsewhere. she says this is not the case and she recognises there is a problem.
but it is at the stage where i would like things to change. im not really sure how to approach it with her. i don't think she would ever agree to treatment.
your right it frustrates us both. she wants me to be patient, and i try, but patience is a virtue that is tested greatly when you are sexually frustrated. i feel guilty for wanting to have sex with her because of this. and i would hate to lose her for something like sex. her friendship is far more important to me.
is there anything i can do?
thanks for the reply
I do not like sex anymore because every time I end up in extreme pain for the next 2-5 days, but I doubt that is your girlfriends problem. But she may be stressed, self-conscious, doubting your commitment if she feels pressured for sex, or distracted by other things going on in her life.
Your complaints are exactly the same as my boyfriend's. If you have any advice for what I say to him, so he knows I still love him, let me know.