Feeling Alone Community Group

A place where when you feel alone, you can retreat and perhaps find someone else who is feeling those same feelings, finding solitude and compassion.

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Pulpit 09/30/2008

I used to feel all alone until I joined DS. This place has been a life saver for me. Last year I found a dear friend on here, one of the first friends I was intimate with about my life and bp issues. She was a godsend to me and over the next year I started going to her with advice and direction and she was great in how she handled situations I was in. I felt God had blessed me so much by finding her as I go through many trials and tribulations with my meds and mood swings. I came home yesterday to find she had removed me from her friends list. I was shocked that something like this could happen to me! I cried and cried. That old feeling of loneliness just crept right back into my life. I depended on my friends love and now it was snatched away from me just like that...*SIGH* I have messaged this person to ask for an explanation but have not recieved an answer yet, maybe I won''t? I felt like closing down my account here. I can't stop feeling that I am a bad person if she had to end our friendship. *UGH* I feel vulnerable and unloved.

deleted_user 10/01/2008

maybe she needed some time to herself... maybe she became overwhelmed with trying to help.. maybe it was a glitch in the system... the reason you may never know but don't deny the fact that at a time you needed support you found it in someone. some people aren't meant to be with us forever, or for long. don't take it so personally.. maybe she can't explain.. try to reach out and thank her for her presence in your life and tell her that you respect her decision and are still there for her no matter what. and continue to seek out on ds as obviously there are many who can contribute to supporting you. give it time.
i can relate as same thing was done to me.. much later i concluded that that person wasn't as honest about things as she said she was.. she acted in same way she complained others treated her.. i was sad, even hurt, but then i thought .. i'm atleast better of not having her around whatever the reason, than having a superficial connection. i thanked her for her support and closed the chapter. you can't change outcomes only your reaction to them.. and the reactions should be for your benefit not ones that make you distrust again, lose faith, or retreat. it is what it is...

deleted_user 10/01/2008

You may never know why she did this. Like kay said, there are others that you could seek out for support. Hugs to you.

deleted_user 10/01/2008

Kay you are so right about this........you sound so much like my therapist. Have you ever counseled others? seriously?
You're awesome.

Pulpit 10/01/2008

Thanks Kay for you wise advice. She messaged me back, actually she hugged me back and wrote in my journal too! She didn't remove me and she is baffled as to what happenend? She requested to be friends again. I wrote her a long message explaining that I understood but I wanted her to make sure continuing being friends with me was what she wanted to do. Kay, I too felt maybe she was overwhelmed with my many trials, I assured her I would be ok with her decision if she didn't want to continue and I thanked her for all she has done. When she wrote me back she assured me that she wanted to stay friends and that the best thing she could do for her health was continue having a friendship with me. I am so happy, like my heart was mended instantly, I cried I was so happy.

getfuzzy 10/01/2008

Pulpit, I'm glad that there was a happy ending between you and your friend. It can very devastating when a person we thought we could rely on suddenly abandons us with no forewarning and no explaination. When this occurs to me (and it has many times), I just try to move on...realizing that I can't force someone to be my friend and if they decided to move in a different direction in their life, then I need to move on with mine too. The many unaswered questions do tend to "swirl around in my head for awhile"...especially when I don't know if there was something I said/did that caused the person to pull away...and fearful that I might drive others away...but yet don't know what to do or not do. It is very maddening. So I'm glad your lost friendship turned out to be a misunderstanding and that you guys are friends again.

deleted_user 10/01/2008

Pulpit when I read your follow up post I teared up. It made me so warm that things worked out for you cause you were so torn by it. Maybe it was a good thing this mystery glitch that happened, because it openned your relationship further and made it even more clear and closer. Remember next time to not come to sudden assumptions, give events a chance to reveal further details so that you can act accordingly and without quick reaction that may hurt it. I'm really happy.. you made my day, especially since today for me I really needed reassurance that good things can happen and furthermore turn even better :)
Jewell.. as for your question, yes I've been called as much and more, even my own therapists have come to me for support and objectivity. I have the background but I don't practice.. I only live by what I believe which is before taking anything personally give yourself the opportunity to think that it may have nothing to do with you.. that's respecting yourself and your worth first and not chipping it away unnecessarily.. we tend to chip away at ourselves way too much, without need, and we shouldn't as there are many people out there consistently doing that to us without our always being aware of.

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