Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I recently started working for this agency and became friends with the secretary. She was a lot of fun and we started what I thought was becoming a regular friendship. When my washer broke down I asked her if I could come over once a week and use hers, she was totally cool with it and I always made sure to keep everything tidy. When she started having issues at work with a director our friendship became complicated because I would share my opinion and give her advice .....soon I started having problems with the same director--my immediate supervisor told me to ignore it and everything would blow over, a week later my immediate supervisor comes to me and tells me that the secretary had accused me of fraud!!! Luckily, I immediately had proof that I was not committing fraud because I keep everything well documented but I was furious!! I also found out that she told the director things that I had said or things that I had done and that is why the director and I were having problems! I immediately took action and met the director face to face to talk and work things out. I could not believe the betrayal I felt because this girl was supposedly my friend!! The worse thing to me is that I have to continue to work with her because she did not get fired for making a false accusation!! My immediate supervisor told me to just keep minimal contact with her. She called me the week after all this stuff blew up and told me she wanted to explain her side of things. I let her explain things to me in her way but I felt like everything was a lie and she told me that our personal friendship was affecting her job because she couldn't separate the two......I forgave her but I no longer want to be friends with her. Within ten minutes of our conversation she was already trying to make jokes and tell stories like we were old buddies again, I couldn't bring myself to do it and she got upset. She said "I feel like I broke your trust" DUH!!!!? I have been working on communicating with her better about work related stuff but now I feel this unbreakable barrier between us that I cannot break down. i don't know if it is her or me? Should I ignore it and continue on?
P.S. I do feel like we would have stayed friends if it was not for work and what she accused me of--on a side note she has boundary issues that disturbed me somewhat too.
P.S. I do feel like we would have stayed friends if it was not for work and what she accused me of--on a side note she has boundary issues that disturbed me somewhat too.
How long has she been working there? You? Maybe her seniority gave her a little grace?
COULD it be someone ELSE is doing fraudulent work, and they were trying to pin it on you??? Not to sound all paranoid, but...
Also, if you noticed she has boundary issues, why even associate with her at all?
She sounds very unstable.
I'd file a FORMAL complaint with HR.
BTW- why did you post this under "Family Issues?" Just wondering. Maybe better under "Codependency."
You have to ask yourself "Is sharing this gossip, trivia, 'personal view' important enough for me to lose my job over?" If not, then don't say it. Simple as that. Now, with my wife, and CERTAIN friends and family members whom I have trusted and vented with for years? O.K. But even then I try to minimize discussing my job issues. At work, I try to make general statements where I can be seen as someone who gets along with everyone. There is much truth and wisdom to my grandmother's old saying, especially at work, "If you don't have something good to say about someone, it is better to say nothing at all."
good luck,
--EJ
In my line of work I bill on clients that I see and work with everyday. I had asked her to make some calls for me one day because I could not call those clients but I ended up seeing/calling them the following day. When she ran a billing report it of course showed those names that she had made calls on. (She cannot see what I write in my billing so she assumed I was committing fraud and instead of coming to me about it she went to the director.
We work for a very small agency and it would be impossible not to associate with her at least a few times a week. I have already taken back all the reports and phone calls I used to have her do. I am overloaded with my actual job and now secretarial work too. My boss is the HR--complaint has been filed. Nothing has been done.
Only 3 months and so many issues already? Maybe it's time to find a new job...
Good luck.
If I liked my job, I would continue to do my best at my job, focus on being successful there, but take this experience as a lesson learned and never form a personal friendship with a work person again. Not at that office. It sounds as if there is a lot of gossip or talking behind closed doors going on. So I would just keep it zipped! Keep my mouth shut. Don't say anything to anybody, just focus on the job and keep it super professional.
If I didn't like my job, I would do the same as above but also look for other work. Temp agency or professional meetups, etc.
As for the secretary, I would no longer pursue a friendship with her because she has shown that she cannot be trusted. I would keep it professional and only speak to her when I had to for work purposes only. Just keep busy so that it is hard for her to find opportunities to interact with you.
It's really better not to pursue personal "outside of work" friendships with people you work with. At best it can be awkward, and at its worst people can lose their jobs and/or reputation. It's better to just keep things professional and somewhat detached.