Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I am married to a passive aggressive spouse. I have been asking for her to go to counseling for six months. Every counseling session was a disaster. She would blow up and make everything about her. We went to two counselors who recommended we do individual counseling. Since then she refuses to take the initiative to get the proper help. Her behaviors are growing progressively worse. I have recommended a split but she refuses to leave. The apartment is in my name and she has left on other occasions. But now that I’m asking she will not leave. She wants me to go through the entire court process to evict her. She won’t do the work to change and she won’t leave.
i have grown codependent on this relationship but I want out!!! I just don’t know how to begin to rebuild my life. I have lived a lot of different places and am currently in my hometown. I don’t have a huge support system. But I know there has to be something better than this.
She is abrasive towards me even when I’m sick. I had to be taken to a hospital for shortness of breath and chest pain. Instead of calling an ambulance she drove to the furthered hospital.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
It sounds like she is indeed passive-aggressive as well as a host of other VERY unhealthy things. I think you may already have realized this: You CANT change her only she can change herself. I think you're doing the right thing by wanting to help yourself get out of the relationship and be more independent. Even though I personally value marriage, I also value two people collaborating with each other when there is difficulty. Your wife sounds immature, selfish, and passive-aggressive. Unfortunately, immaturity takes time, and for some a lifetime. Maybe you exiting the relationship will be a wake-up call for her. BUT that shouldn't be the purpose of you leaving her. For now, the purpose will be to get you to a healthier environment and a healthier and happier life since you only have 1 :)
From past experience, I know how tough it can be to be with such a person so I recommend that you continue counseling and start planning your exit. You can start saving money, looking online for rooms to rent if apartments are too expensive for now. You can also meet with a divorce attorney who will then guide you with what you can do to protect yourself legally and possibly physically too from your wife. From the little I understand from your post about her...she may not take you wanting to divorce her too well. Although communication is important...you'll need to use your best judgement with her as to whether you want to tell her that you're going to officially divorce her ...OR discreetly take care of everything ...meaning you have everything lined up and ready ….wait until your lease is over or find the money to break it and then leave when she's not home and tell her she can speak with your Attorney and that you truly wish her the best. It may sound a bit harsh for some but you need to remember who you're dealing with ...and you need to remember that you only have one life. There could be some one out there who is not going to be perfect (no one is perfect) but who MAY be a better fit for you and work things out when there are problems. Now that is a healthier relationship :D
Your advice was helpful and very truthful.
Your dream could be an interpretation of your negative feelings about her OR it could be telling you that she may be capable of something so extreme as that :(
Divorce laws are STATE laws. You need local advice.
You can start by googling your state name and divorce.
If you have no kids and little property, it may be possible to have a "do-it-yourself" divorce by filling out the correct paperwork at the courthouse...but it really is worth getting a lawyer's advice on what you have to do.
Best of luck
She's sounds dangerous and you just never know how far someone will go
I would be safe.... Talk to a lawyer..... The most dangerous time is when someone is leaving..... Do it safely and have a plan...... Another hug and a blessing....xo