Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
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Has anyone ever agreed to and gone through family therapy with a family member? Was it helpful? I tried with my mom, had a bad counselor who allowed us to yell our accusations at each other, but 10 years later we are still fighting for our relationship.
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We can only change ourselves, not other people.
Personally, I'd work on myself and accepting my mother the way she is... whether that means having a relationship or not. Remember just because you share someone's DNA doesn't mean you need to like them or have a relationship with them.
For example, my brother-in-law was in a clinic for six months for alcohol and prescription pill addiction. At the end of four months his therapist invite his mom, and she went with the attitude, "you owe me an apology", which her son was not able to give her, and it ended aggressively.
Same thing happened to my husband, too.
I think one of the inherent problems, is that when you are the child, and invite a parent to go to family therapy, the parent may not be willing to budge from the point of view, that it's the child who "has the problem", and the parent remains in the myoptic stance, "I don't have the problem, because I'm not the one in therapy." That is, it seems that there still exists the point of view that therapy participants are not people attempting to solve their problems, but the people who cause the problems.
Dysfunction does not occur in a void.. especially in families.. and dysfunctional family systems try to maintain the status quo even if it is bad or unhealthy... it take a very strong insightful person to do this.. and it would be hard to find that many families members all there at the same time... staying the same is comfortable even if our actions cause us pain.. the pain we are feeling must be so bad that we are willing to exchange it for the pain or uncertainty before we are willing to try and some people will put up with a lot before they reach this point...
Take care, Cathy