Hey guys, first time ever doing this so here goes! Sorry if it is too long, trying to give the whole situation...

Very life long story my father has never really been a "father" as such, just never there for you and a shocking temper/anger etc etc but I get it I am now in my late 30's with kids and I can understand how hard it is, knowing what I know now I don't think he wasn't ready or really wanted kids and that's fine, life happens and you do the best you can.

My parents separated many times while I was growing up, basically due to my fathers temper and foul language and the way he treats people, they got a divorce about 20 years ago finally. Dad has had many girlfriends during this time most a total nightmare, his latest has been around for 3 years.

Jan this year he had multiple severe seizures, never had one in the past, he was rushed to hospital in ICU for a week and in the end they put it down to stress, fatigue and an ear infection. I moved away from my hometown about 9 months prior to this, his girlfriend called me 7 hours after this happened to tell me, she put herself down as the "Next of Kin", when they told the waiting room two people at a time she gets up and takes her son in, not related to my father at all - leaving my brother and his wife in the waiting room. After that all communication about how my dad is had to go through her, she took his phone away and intercepted every call I tried to make through the hospital.

Prior to this I thought we got along with his girlfriend really well??

A few months go by and my dad is not the same, he is really confused and repeats conversations all the time, finally his normal doctor gets a scan and within 2 days he is in hospital having a tumour the size of an adult palm removed from his brain.

I talked about flying down but was told many times by both my dad and his girlfriend that there is no need, nothing you can do stay with your family, which I did for a few days but then booked a ticket to go for my own sake.

They found out I was coming and told my brother "we don't need him coming down try to micro manage the situation, there is nothing he can do, we don't need him here" - again prior to this nothing I have ever done my whole life would justify that type of talk about me - I don't take over anyone ?

Results came back, it is terminal nothing they can do apart from chemo/radiation which will just slow it down - they can't stop it.

Since this time I flew down a second time to see him and help at the new house he bought just before this all happened, worked my butt off for a week helping, unpacking and cleaning etc - the last day my dad didn't know but I heard him talking to his girlfriend saying "what is he (meaning me) doing, I don't need this, when does he go?" is a nasty tone.

Prior to this I tried to talk to him about what he wanted, asked about taking over his finances as he had always told me I was in charge of the money if anything happened, but told no it is OK his girlfriend has access to his accounts via the internet???? I asked about his will as he had been talking about changing it late the year before - he signed a new will 2 weeks before he had the surgery with a total new lawyer???He tells me he can't remember what he put in there, can't remember if I am still the executor etc etc and tells me not to worry you can't cross all the "T" and dot all the "i's" etc.

I pretty much gave it 5 mins after the outburst and then said I would get going, if you need me for anything just let me know, I called a ride and said I would wait on the road for the pickup - my dad wanted to walk me down and just talked about meaningless things the garden etc, in my mind I just wanted to fly home and wish him all the best.

Sat at the airport for 4 hrs and his calls started, I ignored them and flew home.

I guess I have multiple questions based on all of this

- The girlfriend is entitled to nothing, when they met she had absolutely nothing was in a rental and had a $500 car. My dad had been in a government job his whole working life and had a home paid for a a large superannuation fund plus other assets. I have since spoken to a lawyer and my brother and I have an excellent case to dispute the will, I am just hoping we can negotiate with her offer her some money and off she goes - she is looking after him through his treatment etc and I am thankful for that.

- I can't help the anger I have it eats me away, I am so hurt by everything it is not funny, I want to talk to my dad about it but would it solve anything? Would it make him worse?

- He simply doesn't want either my brother or me around, his priorities are in order, his friends, his girlfriend who cooks, cleans and runs him around to appointments, his cars (Big car person) then his kids. Last Sunday was his birthday, he tells both my brother and I "I will catch up with you Monday I am having an open day at my place so I will be busy all day".

Probably his last birthday I would say.

- How do you be there for your father when you are treated like a door mat, I say nothing cause I don't want to upset him and he takes the girlfriends side anytime so why go there?

- How do I get it out of my mind, deal with the anger and hurt etc?

- I honestly would prefer not to talk to him, but then I would "be the son who doesn't care" - he won't talk about anything meaningful it is just about the weather and how he is going and doing.

- How do I deal with the girlfriend, she messages me weekly with an update on how Dad's treatment is going - I literally just want to give her a massive serve and tell her she is nothing but a gold digger.

I am struggling with how or what to do to make this better for me - everyday it creeps into my mind and makes me very flat, anxious and exhausted - it's like a ticking time bomb to me when he does pass it is going to be a really big mess and nasty I just know it.

Thanks for reading and any suggestions, I have done what I can legally for now, been told there is nothing else I can do - he is making sense now but for how long I don't know.