Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Hi there!
Here is the thing!
My parents have been divorced for a good 20 years up to now.
I have a wonderful relationship with both my Mother and Father.
Recently, my mother confessed to me that when my father retires in a few years, she will be taking him to court to obtain half of his pension. This was apparently "owed" to her during their divorce settlement.
I told my mother that what she was thinking about doing was insane and very wrong. They have been divorced for 20 years. They are both re-married, happy, and successful. I do not see why she needs to do this? I feel like I need to warn my father of what she is doing, but I am not sure if I should get involved?
Any suggestions?
Here is the thing!
My parents have been divorced for a good 20 years up to now.
I have a wonderful relationship with both my Mother and Father.
Recently, my mother confessed to me that when my father retires in a few years, she will be taking him to court to obtain half of his pension. This was apparently "owed" to her during their divorce settlement.
I told my mother that what she was thinking about doing was insane and very wrong. They have been divorced for 20 years. They are both re-married, happy, and successful. I do not see why she needs to do this? I feel like I need to warn my father of what she is doing, but I am not sure if I should get involved?
Any suggestions?
I suggest telling your dad. If she did for some strange reason have the chance of getting part of his pension,he would most likely(in the worst case),need time to seek legal counsel and stop her in her tracks.
This sounds absolutely absurd! I'm sorry you're put in the middle of all this!
Hugs,
I know I will cause a lot of DRAMA if I tell my dad - I just don't want to stir trouble with my family but if that is what I have to do to protect my Father then it is what it is.
The law on pension rights has evolved over the past 12 years. Prior to July 1996, pension rights in one party's name could not be shared or divided with the other party on divorce. They could be taken account of by being counted in the division of other assets so that the party with the greater pension got less of something else. This became known as Pension Offsetting.
For divorces after 1 July 1996, one party could be allocated a share in the other's pension only when it became payable, provided the Court granted what was known as a Pension Earmarking Order. However, this meant that the control lay in the hands of the party who had the pension, usually the husband, and failed to meet the need of both parties to have a clean break.
Consequently, the law changed again so that for divorces where proceedings started on or after 1 December 2000, the pension plan that one of the parties had could be shared with the other. This is known as Pension Sharing and allows the Court to award one party a share of the value of the other's pension at the time of divorce.
The person getting the share can then have a sum transferred out of the other's plan into one in their name and so giving rise to the clean break that most want to achieve.
It is possible for a divorce court today to adopt any of the three alternatives outlined above. The Pension Sharing option is by far the most popular.
Unfortunately, all these changes in the law have come too late for your mother. In her case it was quite likely your dad's pension was never taken into account at all and she will have absolutely no claim whatsoever. Have him talk to an attorney asap.
We've had great luck with Firms operating under:
"Dad's Law."
You can tell your dad if you want, that your mom plans to do this, but it really won't do any good. The law is the law and he will have to cough it up at any rate.
Hope that helps.
I'm not an expert, but what it comes down to is, when they got divorced, there was an agreement, and they both signed it. However the assets were to be divided was determined based on the perameters of the law, and if that arrangement was such that she gets half his pension, then it should not come as a shock to him at all.
Maybe you should probe your dad to see if he remembers this... or see if you can get your hands on a copy of the divorce agreement...
What does your moms new husband think of this? Personally, I'd be insulted if I were him....