Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
About 5 years ago I met my husband and a 6 month whirlwind romance later we were married. His ex has a son, who at the time I met him was 7. My hubby isn't his bio dad, but he's the only dad this kid has ever known. I'm fine with that, but not fine with certain things that have happened over the years. I expected things to be messed up, and they were. I wasn't exactly expecting my ss to develop a case of "sticky fingers"! I was told when he was younger he stole a chocolate bar from a store and was caught, having to bring it back and apologize. Several years later he steals a family members credit card, not to use but just because he thought it was funny and wanted to see how long before anyone noticed he had it. He would hide it between our house and his, several months later was caught with it and had to return it with an explanation and apology. Some time after that when things seemed to be fine between everyone involved in this sordid tale, my wedding ring is missing from the bathroom shelf where I had a habit of leaving it. I frantically searched everywhere for it, then suddenly got the overwhelming thought that ss had taken it. It was found hidden on one of his shelves in his room, me being furious and hurt, hubby playing the "no harm no foul" card. Last night I was looking for my tweezers, sure I had left them on the bathroom shelf where they always are, and ended up finding them tossed in a small box of marbles and other little toys in my ss's room! We've had a talk with him about how he would feel if someone took something of his, asking about trust and all that. Obviously the conversation hasn't helped much if he's still stealing things! But what gets me, lately its been just my stuff that turns up missing. And as long as I find whatever is missing, hubby doesn't see it as much of a problem. I'm wondering if the kid is a kleptomaniac or just out to torment me? Or maybe he's doing it for other reasons? I seem to be the only one concerned with his behavior so I'm just not sure what to do. He turned 12 a few months ago, and as far as I know things are fine at his house with his mom and her bf. I'm just not sure what is causing the urge to steal or why it's only my things... unless its because the objects are small and shiny. I'm at a total loss here! Any ideas or suggestions?
This kid has a problem and IS a problem. Right now he is stealing little things and hiding them. By the time he is a teenager or young adult, he will be holding up convenience stores at gunpoint. It is time your husband talks to his mother and sees that the boy gets therapy for his problem. He also needs to visit a police station and juvenile detention facility to see where the "Criminals" go. But most importantly, the boy needs to know he is truly loved. He steals your things because he feels that you have stolen his father's love from him. If he is stealing things at your house, he is most likely stealing at his mother's house because the same situation is present there (mother and boyfriend love one another). He needs to know that people can and should love everyone and not just one little boy.