Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I just lost my home in Maine and my daughter and I returned to Rhode Island and moved into my mother's house. She is 15 and bi-polar.
Things between us were pretty good when we arrived, in September, but she was enrolled in public school here, and they have a zero-tolerance policy for behavioral problems, and as a bi-polar teenager, she has behavioral problems.
She's already had some minor suspensions, and now the school's police officer has her eye on the girl, and has even called the house to try and pin some "crime" on her.
I noticed her having difficulties controlling herself in early December, and then on December 18th there was a confrontation with the police officer at school, because she had reported being sexually assaulted to the school.
The officer concluded that since the girl and invited the boy to meet her and "do things", she was asking for it and had committed a crime. This was on the 18th, and on the 19th the girl asked to be put into the hospital, because she was out of control, but wanted to wait until after school vacation.
On the 2nd, she had an appointment with her therapist, during a blizzard, and told her therapist that she was suicidal in order to be committed to the hospital, and I was ordered to bring her immediately or I would be reported.
Naturally, I risked the blizzard to cross the bridge into East Providence to commit her to the hospital. After a week in the hospital, she was released with instructions from the doctor from the school to ease her back into her normal schedule, however, the school knew better and put her into week long mid-terms.
The stress was too much for her, and she vented her stress all over family and friends for a week and a half, and now they are telling me that they want her to have a team of therapists come into the home in order to fix what is wrong, as if I caused this problem.
I adopted the girl 8 years ago, and have been struggling with the school policies of zero-tolerance, and battling to get her reasonable treatment that she needed and keep her home life as stable as possible. I really do think that her stress comes from the school and is vented at home rather than the other way around, but the so-called professionals seem intent on blaming me for her breakdown.
I do not know where to turn. I don't want a home invasion of these people. I don't know how I can be expected to survive this, when there intension is to take my square peg and force her into the round hole she does not fit.
Things between us were pretty good when we arrived, in September, but she was enrolled in public school here, and they have a zero-tolerance policy for behavioral problems, and as a bi-polar teenager, she has behavioral problems.
She's already had some minor suspensions, and now the school's police officer has her eye on the girl, and has even called the house to try and pin some "crime" on her.
I noticed her having difficulties controlling herself in early December, and then on December 18th there was a confrontation with the police officer at school, because she had reported being sexually assaulted to the school.
The officer concluded that since the girl and invited the boy to meet her and "do things", she was asking for it and had committed a crime. This was on the 18th, and on the 19th the girl asked to be put into the hospital, because she was out of control, but wanted to wait until after school vacation.
On the 2nd, she had an appointment with her therapist, during a blizzard, and told her therapist that she was suicidal in order to be committed to the hospital, and I was ordered to bring her immediately or I would be reported.
Naturally, I risked the blizzard to cross the bridge into East Providence to commit her to the hospital. After a week in the hospital, she was released with instructions from the doctor from the school to ease her back into her normal schedule, however, the school knew better and put her into week long mid-terms.
The stress was too much for her, and she vented her stress all over family and friends for a week and a half, and now they are telling me that they want her to have a team of therapists come into the home in order to fix what is wrong, as if I caused this problem.
I adopted the girl 8 years ago, and have been struggling with the school policies of zero-tolerance, and battling to get her reasonable treatment that she needed and keep her home life as stable as possible. I really do think that her stress comes from the school and is vented at home rather than the other way around, but the so-called professionals seem intent on blaming me for her breakdown.
I do not know where to turn. I don't want a home invasion of these people. I don't know how I can be expected to survive this, when there intension is to take my square peg and force her into the round hole she does not fit.
Here is a support group for Parenting teenagers 12-18
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Ages-12-18-Teenagers/support-group
Here is a support group for Bipolar Adults and perhaps they could help with info on how when they were teens
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bipolar-Disorder/support-group
Does she have any paper work? I'd see a lawyer.
http://www.ride.ri.gov/StudentsFamilies/SpecialEducation/IEPIndividualEducationProgram.aspx
She has a therapist and this is the person who needs to be leading the way in the battle with the school. He should be recommending accomodations for your daughter which should be part of her IEP. That the school ignored a physicians orders puts them in a very bad position. And ignoring a report of sexual abuse is beyond belief.
I have dealt with a horrid school district for several years now. My most recent problem came in the mail today as they refuse to accept the orders from the pediatrician and psychologist from three months ago. It is nothing less than harassment. My recommendation is to find an education lawyer. I thought I would get away without this step but I am asking for recommendations right now. Find one with a big mouth and a big presence. You can also check with social services to see if they will help. Often they don't want to cross the lines to the school but if they are threatening to send people to your home it might be good to have a CPS representative to protect her and you.
The only other solution is to have the committee come in and make their "perceived" professional opinions and go from there.
I'm willing to bet though this is a matter of the school not having the appropriate resources that can handle a bi-polar child. Too much pressure on her and she's going to shut down or lash out; probably both.
She almost sounds like she's not on the right medication and is having manic episodes.
Have you called the school district to look into another school that can accommodate her behavior? This school obviously has too many restrictions for someone with her condition to flourish in.
I'm willing to bet that this school would rather your daughter not attend because she's not capable of behaving like her classmates. This isn't her fault, it's the fault of the school system. NO Child Left Behind Policy doesn't fit into the curriculum of most schools.
I would suggest that you take a deep breath and probably go along with having these folks come in for an evaluation; it may be required to get her transferred to another school.
Her condition has become more acute over the past 2 months, and I'm having a great deal of difficulty handling it. She is currently not up to her "theraputic" dose of the new medication, so is basically unmedicated and probably should not be going to school at all until she is stabalized. All she seems to want to do is sleep and text her friends.