Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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Sigh

Littlefeather
Littlefeather

Right now I'm in a truce phase with my older daughter, but the cost to me is significant.  Every time I get around her, I'm having to take something to calm down.  In essence, I feel as though I'm throwing myself under the bus so that the peace can be kept.  My husband gets to be with our daughter and grandkids, so we aren't fighting tooth and nail over that.  However I feel abandoned, I feel that I'm the one to make heavy sacrifices.  I resent it.

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
It's no good to feel resentment when you're around your daughter..... I can only imagine she would sense that as well

I can't remember the history..... Would you and your daughter be willing to have a few therapy sessions together in order to find a comfortable place between you and hopefully find some healing ground?

It might be a wonderful gift for both of you..... xo
Littlefeather
Littlefeather
I have suggested it, she's not interested
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
What about getting into some therapy for you?.... Bitterness can eat you up.....

Your husband wanting to be with his kids and grandkids is the good part of life.... What everyone hopes for and lives for


Being resentful of that is no good for you.... It's holding you back from enjoying your life

Working out some of what's making you so angry and finding a way to heal yourself might help with your daughter as well

Even when we aren't getting along well with a loved one I think that inside we always wish and hope that things can turn around
patti22
patti22
What is making you feel like you're "thrown under the bus"?
Littlefeather
Littlefeather
Because my daughter is very abusive to me. Not just verbally. She rants and raves in front of my grandchildren, and sometimes in public, or in front of other family members. She's said things like I'm a disgusting excuse for a human being. She has said that I'm not her mother. She has told my husband he should leave. Among other things. What has made me so angry? The name calling, the total hatred, and the disrespect. It gets between my husband and me. We end up with knock down drag out fights because I do not want to be anywhere near my daughter. I don't begrudge him going, but leave me the hell out of it. Instead, he puts me in a position where he will batter me emotionally, and will not stop or leave me be until I cave in. THAT is why.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
That's no good..... Your husband should have your back for sure ….. I'm sorry that things are so bad between you..... Big hug.....xo
patti22
patti22
I don't know what to say.

If it was someone other than your child...I'd say "walk away"...but emotionally parents/mothers just aren't built to do that.

On the other hand, emotionally...she can. Kids just don't have the same emotional connection. If anything, they're wired TO leave.

Heartfelt hugs
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