Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
So I know I've been writing a lot on here...and yes I do have a therapist, she just isn't covered by insurance so I don't get to see her enough.
Anyways I'm really thinking about moving my family about 3-5 hours away from my family and my husband's family. I haven't mentioned this to my husband yet, because I know he will be all for it and start looking for houses and push me. I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons. We love where we live...we finally got our barn put up last year and our basement is almost done. We've put our heart and soul into that house and land. But the issues with my family and my husbands family keep pushing me to move...I'm tired of dealing with all of it and feel like moving is our only way out.
My husband's family is very narcissistic and has a history of secret sexual abuse by the mother. My Mother in law wants to watch our new son, but she isn't allowed (she doesn't know this) World war 3 will happen when she finds out. My husbands brothers don't really have anything to do with us, except on holidays.
My family ...well I just discovered they are narcissistic, not as much as my inlaws but enough. My parents let my two younger brothers walk all over them. My mom's favorites are her boys and she runs their lives and finances, even though both are married with kids. She has to be needed...I have always been very independent so since I don't need her, she doesn't like me...My brothers don't include me in anything...they say I'm boring, no fun, home body, too emotional etc... I am the only and oldest girl. I try so hard...I make sure that Mom and Dad have gifts and a meal for Mother's day, father's day, Anniversary, Birthdays...I make sure to take meals to my brother's houses after births of babies or while my brother is serving over seas I make sure his wife has company. But I never ever ever get appreciation.
So with all of this surrounding us and my husbands past history with depression and suicidal thoughts...I guess I feel like the only way to make him comfortable and me as well is to get the heck out of dodge. I'm just scared and don't know how to do that. We own our house and it all just scares me. My therapist said that she doesn't think I'm ready yet....I don't think I am either, but I don't think I will every truly be ready! I just keep trying to think what is best for my family in order to live a little less stressful...this seems to sounds good in my mind. Has anyone had to do this or not do this...I just wondering if it solved problems, or gave you a whole other set? I mean we won't know but maybe one other family where we move. So scared, but thinking it will be best. THANKS!
Anyways I'm really thinking about moving my family about 3-5 hours away from my family and my husband's family. I haven't mentioned this to my husband yet, because I know he will be all for it and start looking for houses and push me. I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons. We love where we live...we finally got our barn put up last year and our basement is almost done. We've put our heart and soul into that house and land. But the issues with my family and my husbands family keep pushing me to move...I'm tired of dealing with all of it and feel like moving is our only way out.
My husband's family is very narcissistic and has a history of secret sexual abuse by the mother. My Mother in law wants to watch our new son, but she isn't allowed (she doesn't know this) World war 3 will happen when she finds out. My husbands brothers don't really have anything to do with us, except on holidays.
My family ...well I just discovered they are narcissistic, not as much as my inlaws but enough. My parents let my two younger brothers walk all over them. My mom's favorites are her boys and she runs their lives and finances, even though both are married with kids. She has to be needed...I have always been very independent so since I don't need her, she doesn't like me...My brothers don't include me in anything...they say I'm boring, no fun, home body, too emotional etc... I am the only and oldest girl. I try so hard...I make sure that Mom and Dad have gifts and a meal for Mother's day, father's day, Anniversary, Birthdays...I make sure to take meals to my brother's houses after births of babies or while my brother is serving over seas I make sure his wife has company. But I never ever ever get appreciation.
So with all of this surrounding us and my husbands past history with depression and suicidal thoughts...I guess I feel like the only way to make him comfortable and me as well is to get the heck out of dodge. I'm just scared and don't know how to do that. We own our house and it all just scares me. My therapist said that she doesn't think I'm ready yet....I don't think I am either, but I don't think I will every truly be ready! I just keep trying to think what is best for my family in order to live a little less stressful...this seems to sounds good in my mind. Has anyone had to do this or not do this...I just wondering if it solved problems, or gave you a whole other set? I mean we won't know but maybe one other family where we move. So scared, but thinking it will be best. THANKS!
I'm trying to understand what your husband's family and your family have to do with you and your husband. I see that you say bad things about them, but what does that have to do with you? Honestly, if you are not happy with them, don't worry about them. Just think, if you contact them 1 or 2 times a year instead of seeing them all the time. Big difference
If being geographically close to the fam is stressing out your husband, then I can see that the move is a no brainer.
But why are you so nervous? People move all the time. I think that's something you need to explore.
Yes, it's true that no matter where you are, you still have to live in your own skin, so I'd think it through.
Maybe try setting better boundaries before listing your house?
On a side note....if we could have moved out of State....it would have been the ultimate happiness. Dh was not on board with that.