Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I have always been the brighter sibling to my sister. But somehow my parents are not happy with me.
I had a book rental business when i was 5th grade in primary school, i thought it would make my parents proud, but mum was embarrassed and told my customers who came to get the books for free. Then i had to close it.
I then did share trading when i was in high school and surpassed my mum's savings, then she was unhappy too.
I then graduated from university and got a degree. My sister failed to get her degree and quit. And then my parents were saying, a degree means nothing. It is more important how you apply your skills for your work.
Currently i am working in my dad's construction business as i have discussed on the other discussion. I was first not allowed to do my own designs, and had to use dad's design. Later on I insisted to do my own design as my brother in law is also working in the business. I wanted to show i am better than him.
My dad was not happy with the design i created. I said let's wait and see what the customers think and how much the house would sell should determine how good is the design. And finally it was sold higher than expected. And so i did my own designs from then on.
Now both my parents are unhappy of my work regardless of how good they are and give complements to my brother in law who just copy my dad's work.
Are many parents behaving this way? What do you think?
thank you
I had a book rental business when i was 5th grade in primary school, i thought it would make my parents proud, but mum was embarrassed and told my customers who came to get the books for free. Then i had to close it.
I then did share trading when i was in high school and surpassed my mum's savings, then she was unhappy too.
I then graduated from university and got a degree. My sister failed to get her degree and quit. And then my parents were saying, a degree means nothing. It is more important how you apply your skills for your work.
Currently i am working in my dad's construction business as i have discussed on the other discussion. I was first not allowed to do my own designs, and had to use dad's design. Later on I insisted to do my own design as my brother in law is also working in the business. I wanted to show i am better than him.
My dad was not happy with the design i created. I said let's wait and see what the customers think and how much the house would sell should determine how good is the design. And finally it was sold higher than expected. And so i did my own designs from then on.
Now both my parents are unhappy of my work regardless of how good they are and give complements to my brother in law who just copy my dad's work.
Are many parents behaving this way? What do you think?
thank you
First is that your parents may be trying to protect your sister. When one child performs better than another it becomes natural to worry about the other childs feelings. So by putting down your acheivements they may feel they are lessening the distance between you. Instead parents should be praising each child for their unique achievements. It's not a competition.
Your parents may feel jealous of your achievements. Just because you have children doesn't make you a psychologically strong person. Many parents feel there is a competition with their children. Again parents should be happy that their children are successful and help them as much as possible.
Your parents may also feel challenged by you. When you change dad's designs you are saying that you think you are better. I think change is good but many people feel threatened or hurt. Again they should give you a chance and then be happy in your success since everyone wins when the company gets more money for a sale.
As I said I'm guessing it's some of each. Your parents seem to be protecting your sister and themselves. Now at the same time I feel the need to point out that bragging and putting down others is not a good thing. If you speak to your family the way you posted here I can understand them feeling challenged and needing to protect themselves. "I have always been the brighter sibling" well bright is measured in more than degrees or money. I'm not saying that you are wrong but if you are constantly throwing your achievements in your family's face I can understand their behavior.
We can never change others. Better to look at yourself and figure out what makes you feel good about yourself. The only worthwhile competition in life is challenging yourself to be the best you can be.
I am planning to bring MIL along when we move. Starting to love MIL more than my own mum. Seems weird but that's what happens. And she knows all my plans and investments that i keep secret from my parents and sister
My parents are the same way. I am a much higher achiever than my brother. His list of damages are about as long as my achievements and yet all I get is "That's nice, guess what your brother did" (insert something completely stupid that's really not worth being proud of).
Just keep doing you and start achieving for YOU not them. (I say this but I know its hard to do)
Blu
my mom told me for years my sister never graduated high school and i found out from her she did graduate on time she just never told mom about her graduation she didnt want our parents there. all of us graduated high school i almost repeated my senior year but got a pass from the counselor who okay it.
the women in my family seem to be failures with mediocre jobs that seems to be better than having a real career! my mom has no work experience has no achievements in her life etc always calling us sluts and whores and sell outs trying to be sooo white always wanting to please white people like omg!!!