Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I recently wrote a discussion post where I was telling about my parents trying to kidnap my son. Well, my dad came by on Friday to drop off some boots they bought for him, and said they wanted to take him overnight on Saturday (yesterday). I agreed after he threatened to take me to court over it. They brought him back on time and also dropped off anything they had of mine over there- except they claim they don't have my scrapbook. As my dad was leaving, he said that my mother claims that all of the "diamonds" are missing from her jewelry box. Number one, my mother's ONLY diamonds are the ones on her wedding ring. Number two, I would NEVER EVER steal from my parents. That thought never crossed my mind! I'm hurt by this accusation, and they claim they're filing charges for theft now!! But my mother NEVER had ANY diamonds!! I don't know what to do, and I'm freaking out about all of this. I didn't get a restraining order because I felt since they're my parents, maybe this will all just blow over and things will calm down.
As I was unpacking the things they gave back to me, I came across pictures. They gave me ALL of the pictures they had of me, including any family pictures of my parents, my brother, and me together.
So, I'm not their "daughter" anymore, according to them. I'm so hurt by this whole thing, and what's worse is that I went into the drug store to pick up my husband's prescriptions, and I walked past all the Christmas stuff. I just wanted to cry right there in the middle of the store. We can't spend Thanksgiving with my husband's family because they live in St. Louis and we're in Cleveland. Our car is on it's last leg, and our income is just barely over $1,000 a month. So, the holidays are gonna be pretty crappy this year for us. What's worse is that if we're home for Thanksgiving, they're going to push to have him at their house for dinner.
I don't know what to do about any of this. My heart is broken. It's as if I've suddenly lost everyone in my family. My aunts, uncles, and grandparents won't speak to me- and God only knows what kinds of lies my parents have told them about me. My brother lives in Florida and hasn't been speaking to me either since all of this.
As I was unpacking the things they gave back to me, I came across pictures. They gave me ALL of the pictures they had of me, including any family pictures of my parents, my brother, and me together.
So, I'm not their "daughter" anymore, according to them. I'm so hurt by this whole thing, and what's worse is that I went into the drug store to pick up my husband's prescriptions, and I walked past all the Christmas stuff. I just wanted to cry right there in the middle of the store. We can't spend Thanksgiving with my husband's family because they live in St. Louis and we're in Cleveland. Our car is on it's last leg, and our income is just barely over $1,000 a month. So, the holidays are gonna be pretty crappy this year for us. What's worse is that if we're home for Thanksgiving, they're going to push to have him at their house for dinner.
I don't know what to do about any of this. My heart is broken. It's as if I've suddenly lost everyone in my family. My aunts, uncles, and grandparents won't speak to me- and God only knows what kinds of lies my parents have told them about me. My brother lives in Florida and hasn't been speaking to me either since all of this.
Do you really think that your parents would really file charges? Your father could have just been lashing out in anger. Inappropriately, of course.
Hang in there. Things have to calm down. Protect yourself as best as you can and take control of what is in your power.
If they really do file a theft charge they you counter that by telling the police that they're just trying to scam their home owners insurance into replacing jewelry that never owned. Tell the police that you know for a fact your mother had no diamonds. But I'm guessing the whole diamonds thing is just another attempt to bully you into doing what they want you to do. You need to get just as tough with them as they're trying to get with you. You need to fight back.
Who cares if refusing them the opportunity to see your son is going to hurt their feelings? They obviously don't like you or want you around so why do you care what they think and why would you want people like that around your son? What is the worst thing they could do if you refuse to allow them to see your son over the holidays?
From my perspective you're lucky. You DO have a family; you have your husband and your son. My parents are dead and none of my siblings speak to me anymore and I have no husband or children. It's just going to be me and my pets and maybe if I'm lucky a few single friends will be around during the holidays. You have a family, you are not alone.
The first things is to totally calm down and get your emotions under control. Your family is fine but obviously your family as some issues either with you and/or their personal finances and everyone is in a nervous state. You and your husband have to be the calm ones.
As far as the holidays, you start your own family tradition at home. Cook a beautiful meal and be thankful for your family. Most of the rest is what advertising agencies want us to believe that is: in order to be happy we have to have all our family surrounding us on the holidays. Wrong. It is just another day a day of Thanksgiving. Christmas at home with your son could be lovely. open presents play Christmas music have a lovely meal go to a movie or watch a tape, a real "your" family day. Rejection from parent(s) is tough but not the end of the world. You need space from them. What they might have told your son is unimportant right now. He is with you and sees your actions and can figure out the truth.
I am assuming you haven't done things to deserve them taking your son to protect him. If not, just think how lucky you are and avoid family this holiday season and do fun things. Plan ahead.