Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
My 16 year old nephew has been having some issues in school. Although he is not very large, he gets teased about his weight and how he looks a lot at school which he's opened up about over the past few years. For the past year or so he joined the Junior Firefighters and football team, trying so hard to fit in, and it seemed he was doing well (except for the occasional anxiety over clashing with his mom).
Last week however, we see that it isn't the case. He was caught cheating on a test, and on a subject he knows in a class he could've dropped. When his mother confronted him about it, he started mentioning bullying being the cause, that its sapping his motivation and he feels worthless. This ended up becoming a really huge blow up between him and his mother - its hard to tell whats true and whats not. In moments where he is in trouble for doing something wrong, he seems to bring up the bullying. Then when we talked to him later about seeing his counselor at school, he downplayed the bullying, saying it was just people being mean and perhaps he is too sensitive.
My sister and I met the counselor and a social worker about our concerns. He has so much going for him, yet he feels worthless and that is alarming. Today, they called after meeting with him alone, and it is much bigger than I thought.
Turns out, he is recalling being physically and verbally abused by his father - something we knew nothing about. He hadn't seen his father in nearly ten years, and even then it was infrequent. But he opened up about remembering his father taking him with him to sell drugs, how he would verbally abuse him about his appearance and would slap him around, squeeze him, and even hit him with a broom. Knowing this makes me so furious, I am shaking. No doubt the verbal abuse he deals with at school is triggering this more since the insults are similar. I know the anger is something that has to be - as much as I want to beat the crap out of his father, I cannot. I've last heard he is in prison, and is due to court at the end of this month. I am hoping this is a long, long-term imprisonment for him.
Our goals are to focus on him - the social worker is going to meet with him more often, and we already found a therapist and just need to finalize the paperwork to get him to see someone. Now we know what we are dealing with - and it is not something people just get over - but I am trying to remain hopeful that getting him the help he needs makes him realize he is worthy and deserving of a happy life. He is such a great kid, I hate to feel so helpless when he is suffering, and I just needed to get that out.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
The most important roll model for a child is the same sex parent and his father sounds like a nasty piece of work
Maybe after he's in theapy for a while you could get him into Big Brother's where he could have a positive roll model
that he could look up to and know that there are men who are kind and supportive
I hope that life starts to turn around for him really soon
It seems like your family are taking all of the right steps...xo
I’m glad he was able to be vulnerable with the counselor or social worker at school. This is huge.
I just read a book about the emotional and self-esteem issues some teenage girls go through. When my daughter was 17, she was cutting herself and diagnosed with MDD. She would never admit what was wrong. I read this book two weeks ago, and realized perhaps more of what was going on. My daughter refused our help and was forced into seeing a psychiatrist. When she became 18, that was it, she ended treatment. My son on the other hand welcomed treatment when it was his turn.
Sometimes this stuff is genetic as what happened in our family. From the grandparents genetics to the father’s genetics to the kids who are grown now. Most of them take their mental health seriously except that one daughter. I mention this because sometimes parents or aunts/uncles, or grandparents blame themselves.