I'm sorry you're so closed off from your family.

I think since you mentioned your aunts and uncles being worried about getting abandoned again, that is why it seems like they don't care. In reality they are probably just trying to protect themselves and can't see how it hurts others, especially if your mom had left before, that their expectations are set.

Is the new man in her life good for her? Can she introduce him and get involved with the family by bringing him into things so they can meet him too? Make the suggestion, perhaps her siblings are feeling jealous of him taking up their time, too.

I don't relate too well as my family is huuuuge but everyone always gets together all the time. Instead of not speaking, all of their mean streaks are whispered and emailed and softly giggled to each other. More gossip between my mom and her sisters than the 12 year old girls' lunch table.

Have you tried lately to speak with your aunts and uncles who have been shutting you out? Try to tell them you don't want to be hurt by being abandoned either, and that you want to try really hard to bring your mom back and get her to stay, introduce her new fellow etc.

Good luck, cherbears. (hugs)

Maybe if when you talk with your aunts and uncles you should not bring up your mom.Just talk about light issues instead.The more pleasent the conversations the more inneraction you will have with them.After all thear might be more reasons and issues than you know of between your mom and them.Take care.I hope things get better for you.

Thanks I email some of my family and mentioned my Mom needed cataract surgery but only one Aunt said I hope your Mother's concerns are alright. Haven't heard anything else from anyone. Don't know why they won't even call her. She's the oldest at 70 this year and said I wanted to plan a birthday party for her and got no response. I wish things were different I pray they would forgive her and let it go. My Mother doesn't want to introduce her friend as he's not her boyfriend but only a friend. Anyway I'm leaving it up to God to reconcile them. Take care and hope your family situation works out well also.

I don't know if this would work for you:
When I was in school we had to do a project on our family history and we had to call all the members in our family to talk to them and to get information.

Would an approach like this offer an opportunity to both talk with/connect with people in your family and also to exchange information?

If some of them seemed interested perhaps further contact could lead to more connection....

I think older generation can disconnect from people a lot easier sometimes. My grandma, alienated herself from her siblings - I never understood it. My mom for years hated her and now, as I age - I watch my mom, and I hate to say it, but she's turning into my grandma. Her rude comments, snide remarks, inability to go or think OUTSIDE her little box...and the guilt trips- ugh! So, I think maybe this way is the easiet way for your extended family to maybe not HATE her..I don't like using that word - but maybe they are just too angry and maybe there is more to what went on over the years than you know. It's your choice to reconcile with your mom, and that (in my opinion) makes you a great person for not holding a grudge and moving on, but you can't force others to do the same. Realize that they have their reasons, and keep open communication with yourself and them, because ultimately you WANT a relationship with them right? Your mom may have made her choice a long time ago, and she can work to fix it. You're a fixer...like me. Try to let this one go - keep on loving your mom, your siblings, your family, but let go of the work to get them to all love each other. Enjoy it for yourself for a minute. :)

Thanks for your support. Trying to let it go. Cherbears