Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
Cats8
Hi all, I hope this is the right place to ask for advice.
Here's my quandary: Next month, my half-brother's daughter, whom I've only met twice when she was a wee child, is visiting this country from Europe. I don't have much of a relationship with her father (annual Christmas emails are pretty much the extent of it) and I would not be able to pick her out of a lineup. :)
Her dad gave her my email address and she emailed to introduce herself and to let me know she is taking the trip with a friend and they are going to be in our area for 2 or 3 days and she would love to visit.
Because we don't have a relationship at all and the last time I saw her was 20 years ago, I was really surprised to hear from her and feel put on the spot. If the situation was reversed I would not contact her because we are basically strangers. But I think to tell her that would be really rude. I need a good, solid excuse/reason to decline, without hurting feelings.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated. :)
Here's my quandary: Next month, my half-brother's daughter, whom I've only met twice when she was a wee child, is visiting this country from Europe. I don't have much of a relationship with her father (annual Christmas emails are pretty much the extent of it) and I would not be able to pick her out of a lineup. :)
Her dad gave her my email address and she emailed to introduce herself and to let me know she is taking the trip with a friend and they are going to be in our area for 2 or 3 days and she would love to visit.
Because we don't have a relationship at all and the last time I saw her was 20 years ago, I was really surprised to hear from her and feel put on the spot. If the situation was reversed I would not contact her because we are basically strangers. But I think to tell her that would be really rude. I need a good, solid excuse/reason to decline, without hurting feelings.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated. :)
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There's a good chance that she won't end up calling anyway. Seriously, how many young adults "would love" to visit older relatives? This sounds more like her dad's idea than hers.
In any case, I wouldn't say anything until she calls.
Excuses: You need to work. You need to sleep after work. Another relative/friend is sick ("Jane" broke her leg and I drover her to her cousins an hour away....)
But it might be fun. I'd drive to where she is, rather than having her come to your house. Neutral locations are more comfortable. And if she's got 2 or 3 days to visit, a different country, your house isn't the most interesting... Sometimes it takes someone from out of town to see the tourist attractions in your own town, and seeing it through their eyes can be fun.
If you met as suggested at a mutually convenient place other than your home, you always have the avenue of departing without having to invite her to stay in your home for the duration. It also wouldn't fall within the realm of disbelief to say that she may be looking to stay with you while in the area so by meeting somewhere else, you could avoid that.
I think for me, I would meet up with her for courtesy sake but I do feel like you also; I wouldn't want this to become a 2-3 day stay at your home either; unless that's what you wanted.
You might be giving up a great opportunity... Now I couldn't do it as I have a social anxiety however if there isn't a reason why you don't want to meet you might be doing a disservice to you... It might bring you all closer... Big hug on whatever you decide...xo
Well, as it turns out, she called and we had a nice talk. She sounds like a delightful young woman and I feel much better about her visit. :)
She won't be staying with us because we don't have guest accommodations, but she'll only be in this area for a day anyway and she will at least get a home-cooked meal and conversation. :)
I hope you have a great visit and many more in the future.