Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I just cried for almost an hour over my mother. She has been in and out my life since the beginning. I love with my dad and my grandmother who I call Mom and I love my grandmother but I still wish I had my Mom. I can’t stand to be around her when I see her because it’s like she doesnt care about me and all she does is eat and sleep. When I was younger I was completely in love with her and couldn’t understand why my old sisters hated her so much. I get it now and now I’m 15 and I realized how much she actually hurt me and it really sucks. When I was young, around 9 or 10 I would be so happy when she’d be at my grandmothers house but at night she would leave and I would ask her if she was coming back and she always lied and said yeah. What kind of person hurts and lies to their child like that??!! I wish she would get her life together because as much as I hate her now, I really really miss my mom.
My ex husband is like that with our kids.
What I've told my kids over and over, he's not so much lying as replying with how he Wishes things were...rather than as they are. Kind of like how you may with that you got an A on a test, instead of a B.
Meanwhile I did as much as I could to minimize the impact. I'd have my kids go to playdates and have their father pick them up from there on visitation, that way the kids weren't waiting around the house for 30-40-60-90 minutes for him to show up. Much of the time, they wouldn't even be paying attention to the time. Or we'd watch movies...or some such thing.
Truth is that while their father isn't the perfect parent...I'm not either. Oh yeah, I'm here everyday. And I've definitely done the tough stuff about parenting, but their father loves them too. And that's NO small thing in life. NO small thing at all.
Maybe it will turn out that in 10-20 years, he's the one that they will turn to in a tough moment in life. Maybe not...but could very well be.
At 15, (my kids are 15 and 17), you're old enough to start to see that the world is complicated....not one dimensional.
You will deal with issues like jobs, depression, friends...and find that the Words that the people around you say to you...have a great impact on you and your feelings.
Learning to go easy on their father (my son could never understand how anyone could sleep in until 1 or 2 in the afternoon), has helped my son learn to go easy on himself (while it's rare, my son occasionally has slept in that late himself now). It's not easy being a teen, getting ready to graduate, balancing work, school, friends, dishes, and yup...two parents....both very different, but that both love him.
I wish you the best, Patti