Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I will try and present my situation as best I can. I am married to a man who cannot be questioned - about anything. If I ask him why he feels a certain way, or what he means by something.....he responds with "what are you starting something?" and walks out of the room. It is to the point that I cannot discuss anything important with him. I have expressed how I would like to discuss things and how I am merely asking for his point of view, but he says "cut it out," raises his voice, and walks away.
I am to the point where I can feel my blood pressure rise each time this happens and I have a nervous frustrated feeling......which is any time I ask him anything.
I've explained to him how I want to be married to my best friend and how I want to share, but he can't seem to have that conversation. Cuts me off and ends it abruptly. It does not matter if I want to talk some more - when he's done, it's done and he does not seem to care about how I feel.
By the way this is nothing new. His father was that way too and was very hard on my husband growing up and I think that when my husband is questioned he feels as though it is a criticism and he shuts down. I even tried to discuss this with him very gently and explained that I am not criticizing him, I really want to hear what he is thinking, get his point of view, and he told me to "shut up." He starts rubbing his head as though he is in terrible pain, shakes his head from side to side, and talks on top of me if I say anything else. When I stop talking he will never bring it up to say that he even for a minute sees my point of view, never will apologize, and the next day acts as though everything is fine. I feel as though I am dealing with a disrespectful child who I cannot relate to on an equal level.
Just this evening he came home from a restaurant with a friend where he said he had a terrible plate of soup. I asked him if he sent it back and he "what are you starting?" and he walked out of the room.
What do you make of this? Any advice?
I am to the point where I can feel my blood pressure rise each time this happens and I have a nervous frustrated feeling......which is any time I ask him anything.
I've explained to him how I want to be married to my best friend and how I want to share, but he can't seem to have that conversation. Cuts me off and ends it abruptly. It does not matter if I want to talk some more - when he's done, it's done and he does not seem to care about how I feel.
By the way this is nothing new. His father was that way too and was very hard on my husband growing up and I think that when my husband is questioned he feels as though it is a criticism and he shuts down. I even tried to discuss this with him very gently and explained that I am not criticizing him, I really want to hear what he is thinking, get his point of view, and he told me to "shut up." He starts rubbing his head as though he is in terrible pain, shakes his head from side to side, and talks on top of me if I say anything else. When I stop talking he will never bring it up to say that he even for a minute sees my point of view, never will apologize, and the next day acts as though everything is fine. I feel as though I am dealing with a disrespectful child who I cannot relate to on an equal level.
Just this evening he came home from a restaurant with a friend where he said he had a terrible plate of soup. I asked him if he sent it back and he "what are you starting?" and he walked out of the room.
What do you make of this? Any advice?
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grill tonight with charcoal.....turned out good but had some stuff that I had to feed to Belle and Happy because it was grissley. it tasted pretty good and was a perfect mid rare....
You have to see if you can find any common ground with him and set some ground rules. Is it OK for him to walk way and NEVER return to the topic or issue and talk it through when he is ready? If not, it is reasonable for you to ask him when he is calmer if he can just talk with you. If he can't do this, then, YOU have to decide what you are willing to live with. It sounds to me like you need to seek out a 3rd party who can explore if he wants to improve his relationship with you and how you both can do so.
BTW anyone who tells anyone else to 'shut up' is being rude and disrespectful. I encourage you to push back calmly and set some boundaries so he understands that no one, especially you, should not be treated this way.
Good luck.
If your husband is anything like mine, he won't listen to a word you say, but will listen to anyone else. Maybe you could talk to one of his friends about the way he acts, and have that friend talk to him about it? Chances are he doesn't realize how he is acting and needs someone besides you to point that out to him.