Hi Beth! Sorry you have to deal with this. I think your only option is to move out. Do you have any other family or a friend you could live with? Maybe rent an apartment with some friends?

There is nothing you can do to change your mom and her BF. So your only option is to remove yourself from the situation.

Let me second Tigg's suggestion. You are dealing with two alcoholics who don't respect the home environment enough to allow you to live in a peaceful environment. They need to accept that they are alcoholics and either get a handle on it or get treatment. In either case, it is not your responsibility to get them to do it. If you push the issue they may direct their anger toward you instead of the wall. If you absolutely cannot move out with someone, is family therapy an option? Can you get someone in the family to safely intervene? I would hope that your mom would not put alcohol and a boyfriend ahead of her own child's interests, but of course, that is the nature of alcoholism.

Thank you very much for your comments. I don't have family nearby but hopefully will go to uni in september so will be able to get away.

Hi Beth: On another board here just weeks ago I finally came out of denial and faced that my dad was an alcoholic for a while in my life. It wasn't a pretty time. He did eventually get to sobriety, but until just weeks ago I never looked at him as an alcoholic and he was. It sounds like your mom and her boyfriend are both alcoholics.

Do what you can to work on a plan to get out of there. Beth, is there anyway that they can sabotage you going to Uni? If so, try to do NOW whatever possible to remove the ways they can sabotage that for you---think ahead and plan so that they can't ruin things for you. Many hugs.

Beth, have you looked into your local "Al anon" organization? This organization is for family who live with alcoholic family members.
Attending these meetings could be a tremendous source of support for you.

Stay strong; better times are ahead for you!

HELLO BETH THIS IS VERY DISTURBING, I KNOW WHATS LIKE, MY NEIGHBOURS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DRUNKS, SHOUTING, FEELING UNDER PRESSURE, ITS NOT HELPNG, MAYBE IT WOULD BE BEST TO GE HELP AND MOVE OUT, TALK TO YOUR MUM, DRINKING HERSELF TO THE POINT THAT THEY FIGHT IS NOT HEALTHY, SHE SHOULD SEEK HELP, TALK TO HER, IN THE LONG RUN SHE WILL GET CIRRHOSYSOF THE LIVER, HOPE THINGS IMPROVE,, BEST WISHES***

I grew up in an environment a lot like this. My mom didn't drink but her boyfriends did and all of them were abusive. I suggest that as soon as you are able to, leave the home and maybe seek some counseling. Although, the verbal abuse is not directed at you it is still having an effect on you. The adult behavior I witness growing up led to poor choices in relationships when I became an adult. Looking back, I think some therapy would have really helped me. Hope it all works out for you. Blessings =)