Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I think I really just wanted to get this off my chest....
My mother gives my younger sister everything without expecting anything in return. My sister has no incentive to get good grades, keep her room clean, do any chores, participate in extracurricular activities.... I believe this is all because my mother gives her everything without question. My sister knows that she can get whatever she wants as long as she asks for it, cries for it, begs for it, and manipulates my mother into giving it to her.
I'm a heavy internet user. I play hardcore games, manage a couple small online businesses, and do regular streaming. My mother knows all this, yet she gives the direct internet link (thus the fastest, more secure speeds) to my sister.
You might be wonder why this is... Well, about two years ago, my little sister became aware of youtube, tumblr, etc, and became a heavy internet user herself. She likes to have ten different tabs open at a time. So, when the internet was too slow on her computer, she proceeded to nagging and crying to my mother. My mother then made a direct link from our router to my sisters computer. My sister slows us down tremendously with her internet hogging; plus, she has various viruses that also contribute to the issue. My mother chooses to ignore all of this.
I recently asked my mother if she would let me be directly plugged in because I use the most bandwidth. She shouted at me "I'M NOT GIVING YOU HIGH SPEED." So... giving the priority to me, the one who helps her pay the bills, is illogical, but giving it to the 13 year old is...?
There's plenty more examples I could drag on about. At Christmas, my mother did not know what to buy my sister because she already got her everything throughout the year... My sister gets fast food about 3-5 times a week simply because she asks for it....
I don't doubt that it is very selfish of me to be upset over the internet; but, I can't deny, I hate that I can't do gaming or streaming unless my sister is not around. Plus, even if I manage to get some time, my mother berates me and nags me endlessly. She has no respect for my hobbies, but gives my sister everything...
My sister sits on her ass all day and does nothing while I contribute to bill paying and cleaning. Sure, my sister is only 13, but that's all the more reason to TEACH HER RESPONSIBILITY AND RESPECT. Instead, my mother teaches to her she can get what she wants by whining and crying.
Have I tried talking to her about it? Of course I have... Nothing changes... I'm trying to move out of this place.... It's so frustrating dealing with a parent who cares more about her second child than her first one.
My mother gives my younger sister everything without expecting anything in return. My sister has no incentive to get good grades, keep her room clean, do any chores, participate in extracurricular activities.... I believe this is all because my mother gives her everything without question. My sister knows that she can get whatever she wants as long as she asks for it, cries for it, begs for it, and manipulates my mother into giving it to her.
I'm a heavy internet user. I play hardcore games, manage a couple small online businesses, and do regular streaming. My mother knows all this, yet she gives the direct internet link (thus the fastest, more secure speeds) to my sister.
You might be wonder why this is... Well, about two years ago, my little sister became aware of youtube, tumblr, etc, and became a heavy internet user herself. She likes to have ten different tabs open at a time. So, when the internet was too slow on her computer, she proceeded to nagging and crying to my mother. My mother then made a direct link from our router to my sisters computer. My sister slows us down tremendously with her internet hogging; plus, she has various viruses that also contribute to the issue. My mother chooses to ignore all of this.
I recently asked my mother if she would let me be directly plugged in because I use the most bandwidth. She shouted at me "I'M NOT GIVING YOU HIGH SPEED." So... giving the priority to me, the one who helps her pay the bills, is illogical, but giving it to the 13 year old is...?
There's plenty more examples I could drag on about. At Christmas, my mother did not know what to buy my sister because she already got her everything throughout the year... My sister gets fast food about 3-5 times a week simply because she asks for it....
I don't doubt that it is very selfish of me to be upset over the internet; but, I can't deny, I hate that I can't do gaming or streaming unless my sister is not around. Plus, even if I manage to get some time, my mother berates me and nags me endlessly. She has no respect for my hobbies, but gives my sister everything...
My sister sits on her ass all day and does nothing while I contribute to bill paying and cleaning. Sure, my sister is only 13, but that's all the more reason to TEACH HER RESPONSIBILITY AND RESPECT. Instead, my mother teaches to her she can get what she wants by whining and crying.
Have I tried talking to her about it? Of course I have... Nothing changes... I'm trying to move out of this place.... It's so frustrating dealing with a parent who cares more about her second child than her first one.
If you pay your mother rent, I'd start looking for my own place where I can get whatever services I want.
Hugs.
The next move, if you are not happy at home is to ensure that you are financially stable enough to move into your own place.
@pd2012: As it is, I basically already pay for the internet. If I suggested the possibility that I pay full price, no strings attached, she still won't hand it over, and, then, she'll still expect me to pay for it! I thought about trying a satellite service, though I know she'll expect me to share it with them, as well. That's the kind of person she is. You're right, my next move is to find a better paying job so I can leave. This place is not mentally healthy.
Thanks for your replies. :)
Also, if you're involved with extreme gaming, is your computer capable of handling the speed you need? Same thing for the streaming; you really need a computer with a lot of power to handle what you're looking to accomplish.
While I'm not a programmer, I am a mother and I do know that extreme gaming/streaming = a whole lot of time behind that computer so it could very well be that Mom is trying to keep you from spending too much time on it.