Gosh, I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. I have a pretty interesting MIL myself. I don't think you are in the wrong at all. The best thing to do is find some type of compromise. It might sound outlandish to her, but these are your children and when they grow up, you and your husband have to answer to them! I would suggest maybe your kids can stay with her, if her husband stays somewhere else (hotel or with someone)...or maybe she comes to you and you and your husband get a hotel for a couple of days and have some couple time and let your MIL have time. I understand that things happen and people pled guilty when they didn't do anything wrong, but the fact of the matter is, you and your husband have to keep your children safe and you have to feel like your children are safe. If you MIL doesn't understand, then she is the one with the problem. I've learned that options is the best key...so offer her options. If she chooses not to take one, you did the best you could, while trying to keep your children safe. Best of luck!

Thanks! I have done options such as when she came to visit, her husband couldn't come because he has a felony and can't come on the military post. So she did watch them then and I had no problem with that at all. It was a nice night out lol. But she has cut off her own family when they asked that he doesn't come around their kids. I know deep down my hsuband is afraid of that so he tries to compromise between the two of us. Such as at her house he made sure the boys slept in the room with us. He didn't tell her why, bc he knew she'd be upset. It's such a hard place. I wanted a close family and it seems like that's not how it can be as she can't accept my need to make sure my kids are safe as much as I can.

I'm sorry. I sure hope she can find an option. I understand the whole wanting a close and happy family and the whole cut off worry. But it sounds like you are doing what is best for your family. It isn't like you are imagining something, it is a fact. Maybe a family counselor would help... take the blame and say that you would like to go to counseling to help you deal with the issue and see if she will go two, sometimes a third party saying "NO!" can help! I wish you well, hang in there, sometimes it just takes time (for her), but I would keep your ground on this!

I think you're making the absolute right decision.... She has made a choice to be with someone who has this history... Not only is he a sex offender he plead guilty

I was an advocate for wrongful conviction several years ago and I absolutely know that this can happen far too often however where children are concerned their well being has to come first and foremost... They have no power or control so the adults in their lives have to watch their backs

I'm glad that your husband has taken a stand

I feel badly if your father in law has been wrongfully convicted.... It's a terrible thing
I think you have to listen to your gut though and take care of your kids.....

I know that your MIL wants to yell that this isn't fair but it's what you all have to work with unfortunately

Big hug.....xo

I'm actually in graduate school for marriage and family therapy. But even with my knowledge a 3rd party who isn't in the situation is a great idea. She wouldn't do it with her family, but maybe with ours, she will.
My gut feeling is that these are my kids and it's the one area where I can't say " Oh maybe he pleaded guilty for a lesser sentence" Usually I am the one who questions convictions often due to how crazy the legal system can be. It's hard when children are involved. Maybe when they are older and can tell me exactly what happens and understand what's appropriate and what's not. Just at this time, they aren't at that age. thank you all for the support, it makes me feel better that I am not over analyzing the situation or being overly protective of my kids.